Your inner peace

SIFTSEM in capitals.

A state of unconditional peacefulness does not mean that there are no problems in your life. It does not mean that you do not encounter rejection or challenges. Your peacefulness, leading to a quality life is based on a regulated nervous system that does not jump into action each time your mind triggers a story when you feel or notice something unwanted.

Your mind thinks your feelings. This story leads you to launch into action that allows the story to unravel.

Rather than allow your mind to allow this story to unfold, breath deeply, pause and get in your body and feel your feelings.

Do not be scared. Emotions are temporary. They will pass.

Keep breathing deeply and bring attention to the body.

SIFT

Scan the body and name sensations, images, feelings and thoughts..

MEETING YOUR UNMET NEEDS

SOOTHE yourself with soft words and hugs so that you continue to feel supported.

Peform an ENDORPHIN SHAKE and tremble to allow yourself more grounding and release endorphins.

Root cause

When you are grounded, ask your mind why it thinks what it thinks, or ask yourself why you are feeling this way.

What unmet need in childhood matches your root cause?

Cognitive reappraisal

Consider different perspective. What other perspective is out there? What might the person you have conflict with be thinking about this situation? What would a loving friend say to you?

Intermediate and long term solutions Explore solutions to the issue. Your immediate solutions are grounding and soothing. Consider short and long term solutions during the exercise.

Feelings do not just come without a switch that has been flicked somewhere. It is therefore not practical to imagine that you can let the feelings go without solutions for the issue, short and long term to minimise, prevent or eliminate recurrence.

Consider the issue leading to the feeling. The source of your trigger right now. What led to this feeling?

To protect yourself from being affected by everything improve your self-relationship through emotional regulation. Consider the healing you need and honour yourself. Start self-care daily to improve your emotional baseline.

Create boundaries for what you allow.

Love on three levels.

Ask for support.

Evaluate, monitor, plan goals.

SIFTSEM journal daily.

Expected outcomes

Practice breathing deeply and you will gradually notice yourself shifting.

When you keep practising deep breathing when triggered, you will notice that you might gradually begin to pause and not launch into action first.

Next, you will begin small steps towards emotional detachment.

You will consider other perspective out there and gradually wean off black and white thinking.

As time goes on, you might not be, or not at all affected by certain situations so much.

Even when affected, it is easy for you to focus on regulating your nervous system, than focus on the source of your trigger.

The more frequently you intentionally regulate yourself when triggered, the less reactive you become, and the more self-connected you will be. You will begin to identify your power and ability to own your experience, without making anyone responsible for how you feel. This freedom is how you can achieve unconditional peacefulness.

SIFTSEM toolkit is on Amazon