You need healing not relationship

When you need therapy not a relationship

Sometimes, in the middle of a life crisis, we do not know what is best for us, because we have not learnt to prioritise psychological wellbeing. Rather than assess our needs objectively, we might believe that being in a relationship is going to solve our loneliness, anxiety, losses, financial or any other problems we have.

So, we might look for a relationship desperately, hoping that it will heal our troubles.

We might then accept any relationship only to recognise that it is not what we want.

You might get into a relationship without taking the time to get to know this person, or weeding them off if they are a wrong match.

You might ignore red flags and settle because anyone is better than no-one.

Once in the relationship, you might discover things you do not like about the relationship. However, due to your reasons for being in the relationship, you end up stuck in a relationship where your needs are not met. This is why you need a relationship plan. To understand why you want a relationship, and what kind of relationship you are looking for.

Perhaps, in your circles new or old, you meet someone who then gets to know your unsatisfactory situation, and offers you a deal. You might be tempted to cheat. You might feel torn between the comfort of what you know, and the temptation to betray your present relationship to presumably greener grasses.

Here is the reality:

You have no business being in a relationship at this present moment if these are your thoughts. If you want to cheat because you are unhappy, it is for the reason that you are avoiding yourself or your discomfort.

You need to leave both "peoples" alone and deal with yourself.

You might be subconsciously trying to use people as drugs. That will not work. Because you benefit from learning to be your own drug first.

What you need in this situation is therapy, not a relationship.

You need to explore why you are in this situation. Why you are struggling with particular situations, and how you can resolve your issues without jumping from person to person.

Explore healing work and address your aloneness or anxiety.

Heal your inner child and connect with yourself.

If you have to , leave the relationship first and focus on yourself.

Make peace with singledom. It does not help to drag other people into your chaos.

People who offer you an alternative relationship while you are in another usually have ulterior motives. You might need to consider why sex is on offer as a way to soothe.

Work on yourself and learn tools before you go out there. Sit with your triggers daily and welcome the discomfort of aloneness and soothe. Invest on the second level of love with friends and family.

Love on three levels: Finding love in the right places

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08W7SQ5HY/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_F0D9FN8YTTYBBJA766VE

Becoming the one: Your tool kit for a guaranteed lifelong relationship

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08QLPH4GW/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_5GFF24TE0Q5BCHPBCTZF