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You are not on the same page

Updated: Apr 16, 2022


When you meet someone who wants same relationship but on different terms.


The first and foremost reflection you need to explore is what you set out to look for. This has nothing to do with what anyone wants. It is your relationship goal.


Know yourself.

Know what you want.

Adhere to goal of looking for the situation you want. Do not be blinded by shiny objects along the way.


Continue to focus on the situation you are looking for, instead of getting off at a station you did not buy a ticket for.


If you meet someone and you have different relationship goals ladies, keep looking. As you met this person, so you will meet another who is on the same page.


There is a lot of unspoken dialogue in ambiguous statements where someone tells you that they are interested in a long term relationship, but do not want to live together or they only hang out with you when it suits them.


However, it is worth avoiding any attempts to decipher what someone who is saying what you are not looking for implies. Just by their words and actions, you can recognise whether the relationship will meet your needs or not.


It is most likely that you liked something about him, which makes you feel like this person is "it"


This person is just one of the many wrong matches you will meet along the physical trail. A lesson about your values and boundaries.


Will you betray yourself because you like someone who does not seem to be the right match?


Or will you take this as practice, a lesson and keep looking for someone who will co-create the situation that is in your best interest?


What to do


This is a decision making practice, as well as adhering to your values.


When you meet someone and you do not seem to be on the same page when it comes to values, it is helpful to let go before you become attached. When you have not healed your traumas, and do not have tools, it can be easy to be attached to people and things. Practice sitting with your feelings and use them to create decisions in your best interest. When then you meet someone, objectively evaluate your decision and the choices you make in that relationship. If you recognise that you like how someone looks, the sound of them, but you notice red flags, be mindful of self-betrayal. Write down what matters to you in relationships. Send away wrong matches with love and grieve the loss and end of that part of your life. Uphold your standards. As you learn to let go of people who are not on the same page early on, you create space for people on the same page.


SIFTSEM TOOL- Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts, Soothing, Endorphin Release, and Meeting Unmet Needs.: A solution focused emotional-regulation and cognitive restructuring tool for triggers. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08TQCYC7G/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_AGNFWGKTQ4PW8VR4YK7B




 
 
 

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