Why you love too much

You are chemically dependent. Except your chemicals are generated in a relationship. You came from a troubled childhood, full of stress and pain. Sometimes we equate stress and pain to hunger and beatings. There is more a child needs, just like you are needing more now, in the form of acknowledgement, validation with love languages and five senses, acceptance and feeling included.

Perhaps you grew up with emotionally absent parents, who overworked, because they might have believed that loving you means providing material. They might not have realised it even more important to also provide emotionally.

Or your parents divorced. A depressed parent. Lost a parent.

In some cases you might also end up with a chemically addicted partner or a partner who cannot meet your needs. You stay to relieve your childhood.

You might feel superior in your martyrdom as you believe the sacrifice of suffering leads to rewards. When you love too much, you are confirming the power and influence of childhood experiences on adult experiences relating to relationships. Try to understand how you might continue to worsen your relationship problems. However, as you understand this, you also draw data on how to heal yourself.

Do men not love too much? Not as much as women. For most men, due to societal and biological factors, they avoid the pain of relationships to protect themselves. So, they develop an addiction to pursuits that are external such as sports, work, hobbies and also substances. In turn the woman then develops an obsession with that distant man.

This month you might understand your self-destructive patterns. Understanding the origins of your patterns can help you to break free. This is not going to be comfortable. We have a tendency to deny and avoid what is painful and threatening to us.

I invite you this month to absorb this information. Sit with it if you are struggling with it. If you want a healthy relationship, at some point you might want to do something about it.

Learn self-care and reparenting to pay attention to, and prioritise how you feel. This can help you to improve your emotional baseline. As you improve your emotional baseline, you strengthen your self-relationship by going within, instead of going outside yourself for validation.

When you learn to prioritise how you feel you identify how important it is to choose spaces where you continue to feel peaceful, rather than striving to make something happen.