Why we do not accept healthy relationships when we love too much

The emotional charge triggered by unconscious psychological drives to be with someone who causes us pain makes us feel as if we will drown in the pain of aloneness.

The drive to make the relationship work is not present in healthy and satisfying relationships. Healthy relationships do not embody the wish to settle old scores or right childhood wrongs and winning lost love. The challenge of righting wrongs and gaining approval we did not get in childhood is what is behind our falling in love.

We do not gravitate towards healthy relating people , because their moves and ours do not mesh to create a perfect dance.

We have an addiction to fixing and healthy relating people do not provide us with a mission to accomplish.

Healthy people cannot offer us the drama , tension and pain we are used to and which feels right to us.

Even when we meet a healthy relating person, we will try by all means to bring our drama and chaos to maintain the struggle we are used to. We can find little things to complain about or to change about them.

We can have these healthy relating people as friends and tell them constantly about our break ups, latest betrayal, or humiliation in our present relationship.

In order to accommodate healthy relating people, we need to learn to let go of struggle.

We need to learn to seek comfortable and rewarding connections.

To let go, trust and allow.

To be in the moment.

To make peace with rejection.

Begin to seek tools to do things differently.

Identify change as a requirement for a quality life.

You are not here to suffer.

Relationships are not meant to be an uphill struggle.

Heal for your relationships.