Why we ask the 3-5 Whys of root cause analysis

In this community, you might struggle to understand what we are on about when we answer your questions or give you tips for relationship. We are focused on the root cause.

All your relationship problems are symptoms. That is why we do not recommend labels. Root cause is possible to work out when you take responsibility.

You benefit from finding out why you are triggered or in this place or situation. There is a reason for your struggle. If your struggle is your romantic relationships, remember, it takes two.

Look into the root cause for your own behaviour and attitude in life and relationship. Normally your childhood and conditioning has contributed to where you are today. Identify a matching unmet need for your triggers and parent yourself.

However, sometimes you can also manage symptoms while searching for the root cause.

One such way of managing symptoms, is when a relationship is hard work. Initially with support, you need to "stop doing and start being." Ask yourself what happens if you do not take action in your difficult relationship? That is the answer you need to move forward. If "your" doing nothing that you have been over-doing results in your partner stepping into their role, then of course, you know you have not been allowing them space to get into and perform their role.

If "your" doing nothing everything coming to a halt, well, that is what you need to know that this is not the relationship for you.

You recognise that you have done enough and it just might not be your relationship. Notice when you are doing relationship as if you are climbing up mount Kilimanjaro.

It might be time to end the relationship. You have done enough. Feel exhausted enough to want rest.

You need to tell your lover or the person that you are with, " Dear lover, partner, suitors, was-potential wife, " the fact that I realise I am not what you want empowers me to leave you and seek someone who wants me for me. Thank you for the time together and I wish you well!"