Why someone might leave relationship with you.

Many times you might struggle to understand why someone has left relationship with you. Perhaps you have known this person for a while and you thought things were going well. Suddenly out of the blue they decide that they no longer want to be with you.

The reason lies with not feeling good due to pressure. Pressure comes in many forms and can be subtle or direct.

Your expectations and what this person can offer you do not match.

Perhaps you are trying to get into the space all the time, demanding and asking for things that they are not doing.

You might be telling them what to do

You might be trying to bring forward deadlines and moving goalposts

Perhaps you are trying to push deadlines. You might try to influence a partner against or for something that they are not volunteering.

You might ask other people to talk to your partner to convince them.

Or you could write subtle posts on Facebook to convince them to change something.

You could even be dramatic so that they do or do not do something.

You could pretend to be ill to have their attention.

You might try to help them to get rid of an ex.

Or you do too much for your partner.

All this feels like pressure.

So you have your self-love and your freedom of choice. So does everyone.

Just like you need your freedom of choice, your partner is also entitled to their freedom and choice.

The problem is people will react to pressure. People want to do what they want to do, when they want to do it.

So do not imagine that you are more entitled than your partner to get what you want in a relationship.

It is important to practice role reversal in a relationship each time you want to make something happen, or you are putting pressure on a partner.

Consider not only your partner's emotional currents, but also how they might feel in this situation if you were in their shoes. Role reversal will help you a lot in a relationships to prevent you from making decisions for someone who has capacity to act in their best interest.

Release the need to control. Trust and allow your partner to do what is best for them and the relationship.

You cannot tell someone who to talk to, who to hang out with, when to respond to your messages, when to reach out to you, when to see you and also what they need to do to progress the relationship unless they are open to dialogue.

Healthy habits will appear automatically in a relationship, if it is a healthy one. Your partner will communicate with people without compromising the relationship if they are the right person for you.

If they are not showing up or stepping into their role, or their behaviour is compromising the dynamic, then that means it is not the right relationship.

The right person does not need your help in their role.

If things are not right, consider that they do not need pressure, but they need space. People make decisions when they have clarity.

You do not lose anything by leaving this relationship and this person and focusing on yourself and your life. Leaving people alone, gives them an opportunity to decide what they want and sometimes they might come back to you.

If you are acting high value, not begging or demanding, and also not putting pressure on them, it is easy for them to feel safe to come towards you.

No one who is healthy wants to spend the rest of their lives operating from someone's remote control switch as if they are machine.

Even you do, you cannot live a happy life trying to parent an adult..