Why it is helpful to understand your thought process
- Memory
- Oct 28, 2021
- 3 min read
Understanding your thought pattern
The impact of most of our triggers can be minimised, eliminated or managed by understanding our thinking patterns.
We each have a way of thinking that influences our actions. We developed a set of beliefs formed through observing our environment in childhood. We all have some cognitive distortions to a lesser or greater extent.
With unhealed trauma, we might struggle with severe cognitive distortions. These make us believe what we think to be true in any situation. They close us off to growth.
When triggered, if you learn to pause, you will hear the voice of the inner critic. This helps you to understand why you jump into the actions you take or say what you say.
We are also wired to think negatively for survival, and even worse, when we have unhealed trauma, the mind goes rampant with inner critic messages. For this reason, objective evaluation of triggers and negative thoughts is helpful to understand and improve our behaviour, or for us to take action in our best interest.
Each time you sit with your triggers or negative thoughts, or even as you observe your inner critic during mindfulness, register the messages.
A recommendation is to address instead of ignoring negative thoughts. Pay attention to the voice of the inner critic. Address within not without and respomd to yourself, not external conditions you triggering the thoughts. Observe associated emotions, root cause, and then parent and soothe.
This is an empathetic intervention and it helps you to take responsibility for your life. To recognise you have your own tuner , just like others.
During SIFTSEM, try to label each thought pattern, to recognise your thinking patterns.
For example , " He is out on his own, so he is going to cheat on me as he has done before.(all-or-nothing)- If he has done it before, he will do it again.
Cognitive restructuring is important for healing, because without healing the thinking process, it can be a challenge to heal behaviour, mindset and attitudes.
The first recommendation is to address instead of ignoring negative thoughts. Address within not without. Observe associated emotions, root cause, and then parent and soothe.
During SIFTSEM, part of grounding and parenting includes two types of cognitive re-appraisal. These reframes are thought replacement and role reversal.
When the inner critic jumps to conclusion, it helps to stand on top of a mountain, and view your perspective from there. The higher perspective is a Stoic concept, and it helps you to notice the smallness of your perspective amongst many other perspectives out there.
Additionally, putting yourself in the shoes of another might help you to recognise that yours is only one of the many perspective, including what you do not know that the other person might know, think or believe.
When you take the higher perspective, you begin to understand that nobody is necessarily wrong, but different. You understand our wiring, and that we sometimes bring our stories into a situation.
Objective evaluation or view does not necessarily mean you need to accept or agree with what goes against your values. It simply means, being in a place where you take responsibility for how you feel instead of blaming.
It means you might develop curiosity versus assumptions. You appreciate different perspective and apply tools to manage yourself.
It means you might also let everyone off the hook and make decisions in your best interest, rather than focusing on how others feel.
It means you do not force your opinion on others or want them to agree with your perspective.
Tools
Learn to step back from your usual " needing to be right" thinking pattern, and let go. You do not need to prove anything to anyone.
Journaling is a powerful tool for reframing.
Allocate negative thoughts thinking time, create solutions and release the thoughts.
Replace negative thoughts with an exact opposite positive one, during reframes during or once you have done your SIFTSEM, and still triggered.
The Vuuu is helpful to interrupt negative thoughts.
Exercise and other additions in SIFTSEM kit are helpful.
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