Why do we recommend tools for self-management?

Why we recommend self-management tools Sometimes people believe that when they are asked to regulate themselves, it makes them pretend. They might retort that this is who they are and that people need to take them as they are. The only challenge with that is it can indicate a mindset that does not want to grow.

We are not teaching anyone to pretend. We are reminding them of the choices they have that can enhance the quality of life. It is most likely that their reactive state is not serving them anyway. This is why it helps to develop emotional intelligence, and practice emotional self-control daily. Anything you do daily becomes a habit. Self-regulation skills are useful habits to minimise knee-jerking. Managing yourself empowers you and promotes peacefulness. Here is how daily self-parenting practices and tools help you; They become part of everyday behaviour when practicing them daily. To avoid repeated regretful actions Repeated daily they become habits to help you avoid pretense and self-betrayal. To set a standard for how you are treated by others and your partner To avoid reliance on others to be happy. To avoid feeling worthy based on the love and approval of others. To avoid focusing on getting love from others who might not be connected to love ,or who are having breakfast when you want to be loved. You recognise that people might love you only when your standard is on the same level as theirs. So you do not wait around for them to approve of you. When you speak differently from a place of curiosity, you practice self-compassion. This makes it hard to speak in any other way, because then you feel uncomfortable. If you learn to behave in a certain way, it makes it hard to behave differently. When you react you feel uncomfortable and you recognise self-betrayal. When you honour yourself, and show up with self-respect, it feels good. You feel safe and will not want things to be any other way. When you taste peacefulness, and the power within you to manage yourself without relying on others to change, you begin to trust yourself and believe in yourself. When you go out into the world knowing what you want and what you do not want, you sift through experiences and people without trying to control outcomes. And without being overwhelmed by the diverse experiences and perspective of the world. You live in your power. SIFTSEM is available on Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09CRNQDML/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TEAZ9VGSEPRC8WWVEJW7