When you miss the signs

Why someone might break up with you and expectedly

It is rare that someone can just break up with you on a whim. They will have planned it for a while. Besides there are red flags before someone ends the relationship. You might miss these red flags along the way for some of the reasons mentioned below.

1. You have idealised this relationship and believe this is it for you. You cannot bear to look at anything that can destroy that illusion.

2. You are in denial, and will not pay attention to red flags.

3. You might not like conflict, and believe keeping the peace will save your relationship.

4. You invalidate your desires and wants. You put others before you.

Due to the inauthenticity from denial of your feelings, your partner does not know the person they are in a relationship with.

Your partner might feel like they are walking on eggshells.

Your partner might feel frustrated because they do not know what you want or do not want.

Your partner feels pressure because you put them on the pedestal, like the ultimate perfect being. Nobody deserves that kind of pressure.

You might also be very controlling and abusive and because your partner has stuck with you for years, you do not believe they will leave.

In these conditions, your partner might leave, seemingly without warning. Everyone has their limits, and people like clarity.

Due to your reactivity in the second situation, or inauthenticity in the first situation, you are shut down and not in a position to tune in to your emotions and intuition, which can alert you to what is happening around you. This is why you might be caught by surprise.

To avoid situations like this, heal your inner child before and in relationships.

Honour yourself.

Do not invalidate yourself and how you feel

Learn to tune in to your emotions and to your intuition.

Learn to manage conflict and to express your needs in a healthy way.