When you keep holding on to someone who is not on the same page

Look into resources for attachment and abandonment awareness on friends abroad relationship school.

What is happening is that you are attaching your worthiness to relationships and to this man. That is why you cannot let go.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone. However, the reflection that determines how you move forward in any situation is as follows ;

If you know what you want and you recognise that the other person does not want same, you cannot make someone do what they are not ready to do. That is attaching to outcomes.

People are free to choose what is best for them. We cannot make anyone do what we want. That is control.

You need a healthy relationship, and this does not sound like it. Look for someone on the same page.

If you met this person recently or in later life, there are others where he came from. Do not get into scarcity mindset.

You can leave, live and thrive, it is a decision you need to make.

Explore inner child healing and start daily self-care to commit to yourself. Right now pursuing someone who is not invested in same relationship is and act of self-abandonment. You are the only person you will be with for life.

Some sobering thoughts are as follows;

People are on loan.

If he meets someone, you might be forced to let him go in a painful way.

Do not wait for someone to dump you, or to decide for you. You can decide what is best for you and act on that.

Look into your childhood attachment. Consider that a parent might have been physically or perhaps emotionally absent in your young years. This is why you might have developed this strategy of holding on, to cope with loss. We learn how to do relationships in the homes where we are raised.

Consider that this is where your self-limiting beliefs are coming from. When we are not exposed to love and presence of a caregiver in our young years, we feel abandoned. We might therefore continue to hold on to that connection, in any person we meet, at any particular stage of adulthood, until we parent that child in us.

Consider creating space for the right person by letting go of the wrong one. You cannot create a healthy relationship if you keep holding on to wrong matches.

Get support to wean off this relationship by starting replacement exercises. You need support to look at things differently and to do things differently.

You have so much you can do in your life. You have so much control of your decisions. Start by saying no, and not spending a lot of time with him.

You need self-care tools and a support environment to change the way you look at your situation.

Get SIFTSEM on Amazon for self-parenting. Also get the inner child toolkit.