When you feel like going back to your ex

Congratulations and well done for leaving. Through being trauma bonded to our caregivers in childhood, we might still have the habit of holding on to situations that di not serve us.

When you leave a relationship, in the early days, it might be a challenge to let and beliebe you can thrive outside this relationship. Yet you can do this. You can stay away. You can thrive away from this situation. We are creatures of habit. Give yourself the time to get used to the new set up.

Recognise that what you think, do and say has a root cause. In other words, learn to sit with those feelings to go back, and name them. Explore what is going on in your mind.

Explore the root cause of those thoughts and feelings. Where did you learn this?

What would a loving parent do or say?

Parent yourself.

Create solutions.

What can you do differently?

Start self-care and commit to yourself.

Invest in your interests.

Journal.

Reframe

You can be strong alone as you heal.

It is ok to be single while recovering. Until the right person comes along.

A self relationship takes priority over romance.

It is lovely to be in a healthy relationship.

Maintain no contact. Or strictly parental contact.

Allow the process of grief.

Let go gradually and move on.

Repeat emotional regulation daily and eventually you will get the that place where you fully accept your situation.

Repeat affirmations for worthiness.

Gratitude for life.

Play with your friends.

You might then move forward. It is a process. Allow it and experience it, but hold your boundaries to honour yourself.

Remember why it did not work out. Work on your part of the relationship. Heal the inner child. Accept all parts of you.

You got this.