When the person you are in a relationship with or trying to date ignores you!

Being ignored does not feel good. You might feel worthless. You might believe you are not good enough.

However, the painful part of relationship situations is that nobody owes you anything. Instead, taking responsibility is empowering. What might help is to lean into your feelings and find out what they are telling you. You are FEELING ignored. There might be other perspectives out there to the story you are telling yourself.

This person is making a choice. Their approach might not be the best in the world, yet it is not possible to anticipate people's behaviour. Neither is it possible to teach everyone how to behave.

So, parent yourself first and give yourself what a parent would give you in this situation, if you were a child. Next, ask yourself why is it so difficult to accept this person's choice? Is it that you do not have tools to navigate rejection, and expect everyone to respond as you want them to, in order to meet your expectations? That is not realistic.

SIFTSEM or objectively evaluate the trigger pf being ignored, and feel your feelings. Consider pre-triggers or pre-existing conditions leading up to this situation. Sometimes we ignore warnings from lovers to move on, because we believe we can change their mind.

Next, ask yourself why you feel these feelings or are thinking the thoughts you have right now. Identify a root cause in an unmet need in childhood. Parent yourself and meet the unmet needs, such as "to feel included" and "to be in control" amongst other pertinent ones to your trigger. (See SIFTSEM toolkit on Amazon.)

Consider a higher perspective with reframes and role reversal. What can help you whenever you are ignored by another human is to look at someone's behaviour as their CHOICE of action, rather than focusing on the action itself.

You can then consider too, how many choices you might have made in your life others do not agree with. This reflection makes you realise that, it is more your perspective of someone's behaviour , than their intentions or actions that hurt you.

Plan

Heal your inner child and connect with yourself.

Let go of attachment to outcomes.

Practice self-care and reach out to people who will respond to you. People in your immediate circle.

Also , do something for someone who is in need, for balance.

Do not force outcomes. People are on loan. Their behaviour have nothing to do with you

Respect yourself and value yourself. You do not need an explanation or to ask why someone ignored you.

SIFTSEM is on Amazon

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08SJLYZWV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_561MBSZRTYJQN4H44KXJ

Their actions is explanation enough.

Journal for mindfulness and healing and to track your triggers.

If someone does not feel you are worth communicating with, they are not good enough for you. It might be a good thing that they have left without you asking. One wrong match out of the way. Be thankful they took themselves out of the equation.

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