When looking good and feeling good are not in the same room....Address your psychological existence.

I have learnt that even if I went to the gym or exercised on Friday, I still need to exercise on Sunday and Wednesday or more. This is because bread I will eat on Saturday will be sitting in my thighs and saying, "What now?"

That aside, I need to improve my overall health. If I ignore that bread or I do not move body, there are consequences to my wellbeing.

I have also realised that even if I ate yesterday, I still need to eat today. I cannot ignore the empty stomach and hunger pangs.

Even though I spent time with my immediate circle yesterday, I still need to spend time with some of them daily, others weekly or occasionally. Otherwise there are consequences, such as losing those circles or connections, and focusing too much inwards.

The same regular and consistent approach is required for my emotional wellbeing. I need to sit with myself and feel, parent myself or soothe with love languagesand five senses. I need to intentionally release the weight of the emotions with a cathartic exercise in an objective evaluation exercise for trigger management.

Just like exercising daily, I need to practice being there for me. This helps me to gradually release this emotional weight that comes with feeling abandoned.

I need to learn to be OK with being uncomfortable in a mental gym, alone and with support, knowing that it is important for my health and wellbeing.

I need to continue to exercise self-care, with an understanding that I have a connection to maintain with myself. Just like maintaining social circles through regular contact, I need regular check-in with me." I need me to ask me, " How am I feeling? Why? Am I OK? What can I do for me? Is this good for me?" Just like I ask myself, " Have I eaten?"

I ask these questions of others, they also ask me these questions. The idea is to learn to ask myself questions about my life instead of having them asked by others only.

I need to start looking at myself as a parent would look at me, while also providing that parent to that child. In focusing on my psychological existence I need to monitor whether I am acting in my best interest.

I need to keep feeding myself self-love and nurturing, with an understanding that in this world, I will feel triggered and hunger for a parent. Whether it is stress, tiredness, boundaries or something important I need to address in my life, it is only through daily self-care practice, that I learn to believe that I can be the parent I need.

If I have to avoid faking happy, looking good and feeling good have to be in the same room. I need to address four dimensions of existence, which are social, pyschological, physical and spiritual. All of these require daily practices like muscles I strengthen at the gym.

Heal for yourself!

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