When a partner keeps threatening to break up or they tell you to leave if you wish

This is a manipulation strategy. It is a sign of addiction to drama and chaos. Either they do not like conflict and are trying to shut you down. Or they want to see if you will bothered by the break up. Or they want you to be the one to leave.

Rather than ask why they might be doing that, which of course is valid, there are more beneficial questions to explore in context.

What is the relationship like normally? There has to be an ambivalent connection to have these words repeated.

What is your conflict resolution strategy in the relationship?

In couples where you do not have conflict resolution strategy, people can lash out instead of using healthy approaches to resolve conflict. Introduce self-development in your relationships. Conflict resolution hour weekly.

What caused them to say this? While it is not a great way to fix the problem, it might be a learned strategy. However, strategies are applied to real life situations. What pushed them to trigger their childhood coping strategy?

What else is going on in the relationship? The dynamic as written above sounds ambivalent.

What are you doing to help and improve your life? Working on yourself is pivotal for your positive life and relationship outcomes. Self-development.

How many times have they done this?

Consider what you are putting up with.

What are your boundaries? When you have boundaries, there are situations you do not allow in your life. What are you putting up with and why

If you are not happy in this situation, what do you need to do?

Boundaries again. You are the only person you can control . Nothing changes unless you change something. Living with the Threat of abandonment is like living on the Edge. You do not need to put up with that. Make decisions in your best interest. You do not have to wait for him to leave. You can leave in focus on your life and free them.

What is happening in my life? Why is it happening? Why am I here? Where do I need to be? How can I get there?