When two attached exs try to reconnect

When you and ex want to reconnect while claiming to be in unsatisfactory relationships, that is cause for pause. Bandaid solutions can result in problems in future or you can end up staying to prove that you made the right decision. Perhaps, because you do not want the people you both left to view your relationship as a failure. 1. If you want to leave a relationship and have another healthy one in future, the most self respecting and healing thing is to be on your own first. Find yourself, and everything else falls into place. Explore intentional healing to address why you might have stayed in a situation where your needs are not. Or why you ended up where you are. 3. It is important to avoid bandaid, and get into another relationship to manage your issues or to resolve your relationship problems. 4. If a partner is healthy relating, they do not try to rekindle one relationship while in another. A man of virtue will lead you by example. What example is your ex teaching you? What if he does that with you? 5. It is self respecting and virtuos to avoid people who are attached. You would not want that done to you. You learn not to do it to others. 6. People will tell you what you want to hear. So, while your ex might say they have problems in their relationship, they might nor actually mean that they want you. Specifically. 7. People who betray a present relationship struggle with conflict resolution skills. Because if they did not, they would resolve their issues and or move on. 8. If you broke up before, consider whether you addressed the reasons. It is one thing to regret a break up, but you need to observe changes in the person before getting back together. Besides, the red flag of being attached and also being OK with someone attached can back fire in future.. Create boundaries and work on your part of the bargain, while they work on theirs. It is healthy to leave your present relationships before you start dating someone else. Look back home, and eflect on your upbringing also. Whatever we do in relationships, is learned behaviour. Explore the type of parents who raised you and why you are where you are.