What to do instead of waiting for a response

You do not have to wait for a response to your calls or text messages. Recognise that people are free to choose. Here is what to might do, when you are impatiently waiting for someone to text you back. Perhaps you expect someone to text you back straight away. What can you do instead in those moments? Parent yourself instead of texting them or asking why they are not responding.. Sit with your trigger and SIFTSEM The reason why it is hard to wait for a response or let people choose is because you have not learnt to sit with your feelings and use them to create solutions.

You have not let to accept the freedom and choice others have.. You have not learnt to focus on the present, and what is in front of you. So, you avoid emotions, and jump into action to avoid your feelings of abandonment.

Explore why you feel the need to jump into action when someone has not responded to you straight away. What other factors in the relationship or in your life might make you feel as if you are being rejected from one situation. What you are feeling guides you to the work you need to do. Name the feelings and observe the thoughts. Observe your thoughts for all-or-nothing thinking and black and white thinking. Why do you feel the desire to get an instant response or to ask someone why they have not responded back? Maybe your abandonment trauma is making you feel rejected. Look into what rejection you experienced as a child.

Your abandonment trauma created managers who are now trying to protect you. Each time there are signs of abandonment, they might tell you that unless you act, you will not be loved. Solutions What would you do for a young child in those moments if they came to you feeling as you feel? Soothe with self-hugs, Words of affirmations A carthartic shake to release the tension. Reframe your thoughts? Thought replacement - Is there any need to rush a response? People sometimes take their time. They might be busy.

People are free to choose when to respond. Role reversal - Put yourself in their shoes - They might be busy, do not have anything to say or not now and might feel that you are putting them under pressure. Create solutions. What can you do now instead of waiting for a text? Live your life. Creativity with your inner child. Phone or text a friend. Go for a walk or a meal. Start self-care daily and commit to yourself. Invest in healthy circles.

Learn a language. Play an instrument. Start a course.

Observe whether this is a habit because you might not be on the same page. If it is a habit, it is nice to appreciate their effort every so often to inspire them. If it persists, you may express a one off where you let them know how lovely it feels to hear from them when they are not busy. Curiosity is more beneficial than demands.

Avoid pressure even then. Let people choose what is best for them.

Journal. Learn to be self-reliant and to invest in other relationships. People do not want the pressure of feeling like your happiness depends on them.