What keeps you busy determines your life outcomes

What you spend most of your time doing or focusing on determines your life and relationship outcomes.

At any given time you choose. You choose who to hang out with, what to eat and what to do. Are you making the choices that benefit you, or do you need to reflect on the opposite of what you are doing.

Many times we spend time complaining that we cannot do our healing, or change our attitudes and behaviours to make choices that are in our interest. Yet , the very nature of that complaining is a choice to expend energy on something else that could benefit your growth, and the quality of your life, and therefore, the relationship you are wanting.

What you spend most of your time doing determines your life outcomes.

Is whatever you spend most of your time doing helpful for you?

When you are defensive, does that help you or keep you stuck?

Are you spending your time doing stuff that is life giving?

Is whatever you are doing with your life supporting you or others?

When you do something, do you ask yourself what you are doing and why you are doing it?

Do you challenge your thoughts.

When you expend your energy on something, is that likely to benefit you existentially?

When you write a message, do you reflect on what you are going to say to this person? Is your message likely to encourage you or another person to think differently, in a healthy way, or to inspire your partner to respond?

Is it worth spending time trying to argue for your limitations when triggered, or to expend that focus on finding out why you are triggered?

When you say something to your partner, have you reflected on intention and how the message is likely to benefit the relationship?

When you invest in an activity, does that promote health and wellbeing?

Are your habits or hobbies in your best interest?

When you sit down to think, are you spending time on thoughts that improve your behaviour and your life?

When you respond to others or react, is your response likely to benefit you or others?

Does whoever you spend time with inspire you?

When you express your opinion, does your opinion help you and others? Does it make others think, or is it an opinion to feel that you are right? Or you know better?

When you debate with others, do you argue to prove your point, or do you provide perspective while open to the fact that there is more than one perspective?

Do you respond to say something, or do you recognise that perhaps you have nothing to say, or what you want to say is better off said to you?

When you ask others questions, are they questions that have a benefit to you?

In the middle of a dysfunctional conversation, you need to ask yourself, " How is this going to grow me?" If you cannot find a way to make it beneficial opt out.

When you look at others, and focus your thoughts on them, do you appreciate their beauty, for all of us are beautiful. Or do you spend time believing you are better than others, or others are better than you in some way? Or you recognise our commonalities, while appreciating our differences.

Are your actions in your relationship fueling stability or instability? Are your actions and attitudes in your romantic relationship helpful for your relationship, or an act of self-sabotage?

Is your relationship or the way you are doing relationship a source of inspiration to you? You spend most of your time in your romantic relationships; is the time you are spending in it worth all that chunk of your life?

Do you ever ask yourself if you could be doing something else, other than what you are doing in any given moment?

Do you ask yourself whether your ex, who is taking up a lot of your time is worth all your time and energy?

When you focus on people and their own lives, problems and drama, do you ever ask yourself whether that time could be spent doing what you love?

If you objectively evaluate what you are doing, bu tuning in to your emotions and observing your thoughts and root cause, you will find out if you are spending time doing stuff that serves you.

Sometimes we have to start learning to think differently, and change our learned habits. At some point our excuses not to take action become a matter of choosing the other side of the stick.

We need to ask ourselves questions, to challenge what we spend most of our time doing, where we spend most of our time, and with whom we spend our time, in order to improve the quality of life.

What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Does it serve me? What could I do differently?

Where and who am I with?

Why am here and with them?

Does it serve me?

Where else could I be and with whom?