What happens when you are healing

Unlike school, we do not have an opportunity to learn theory, experiment then practice healing correctly with a teacher or supervisor who marks us down..

In this community, we do have that opportunity to an extent if we are participating in intentional healing. However, healing happens on the ground - at home, at work and in public.

Healing does not happen in a group session or in therapy. Healing is happening when you face the unwanted and you own your experiences. Healing happens when you recommend instead of force. Healing recognises what is yours to focus on, and what is for others to let go of.

It is when you minimise filtering the positives. When you no longer want to be right all the time. When you are open to perspective. When you do not feel that what you feel is true

Healing is about making different choices that enhance your life

Healing happens when you come face to face with someone who does not respect you and you have to choose, whether to call them out or respect yourself and walk away.

Healing takes place when something unwanted happens. You choose not to throw a tantrum as a habit, but you tune in to your body. You feel your disappointment, ask yourself what the situation is teaching you. You then express yourself with self-compassion, and observe.

Healing happens when your partner is shouting at you. You recognise that shouting back is outdated and you leave the room and parent yourself. You decide to hold your boundaries and observe. If nothing changes, you also leave the relationship.

Healing happens in the middle of a misunderstanding with your partner, when you let go of the need to be right, parent yourself and listen to understand.

Healing can be observed in moments where you practice appreciation in the middle of a storm.

Healing is about presenting yourself the same way to everyone you meet instead of wearing multiple personalities for different occasions.

Healing is happening when you are able to choose healthy circles instead of settling to belong.

Healing begins when you recognise that you are not in danger when something unwanted happens. You just need to create solutions.

When you notice your partner's phone on the table with a suspicious text message; rather than pick it up and respond, you parent yourself and either pack up your bags and go to your friend overnight until you are grounded, or ground yourself until you can discuss. You are not in danger.

Healing begins when you stop the habit of constantly calling people out. Instead you call yourself out and recognise that you are not going to fix the whole world.

Healing is happening when you no longer feel the need to convince your partner to do, change or be anything they do not want to do, change or be. Instead, you only invest in what makes you feel good.

Healing begins when you are no longer blaming your mother for your unhealthy behaviours, while taking accountability for your successes, as a grown woman or man, instead of taking responsibility.

Healing is happening when you treat children like young people, allow your children to choose and recognise that you do not own them.

Healing happens when you start noticing your self-protective patterns and you own your experiences. You no longer push against anyone.

Healing begins when you start to prioritise yourself and you say no to yourself when overworking.

Healing is happening when you notice that your thoughts, words and actions are part of cause and effect.

Healing begins when you start to step away from gossip, or judgmental conversations.

Healing is noticeable when your words begin to soften and you are more selective with your vocabulary. This is not on a superficial level, but on the level of where the thoughts originate.

When you are healing, you take responsibility for your life and your decisions. Same way you take responsibility for your choice of food or exercise.

Healing is happening when you recognise that doing relationships require opening up to love. It means detaching from outcomes instead of trying to fix to avoid hurt, which also closes you off to love.

Healing happens when you are able to employ your observer in the middle of an experience and monitor your thoughts, feelings and behaviour like a third party.

Healing happens when you recommend instead of force.

Healing is when you minimise filtering the positives. When you no longer want to be right all the time. When you do not feel all that you feel is true, but manage it as your experience.

When you no longer personalise many conversations.

When you are not judgemental and you are open to different perspective.

When you accept functional conflict as a point of growth, and dysfunctional conflict as a point of acceptance and letting go. When your peace of mind matters more than proving your point. When you no longer seek validation. When there is more to life than material and superficial. When you no longer hustle for your worthiness. When you recognise that you are enough just as you are.

Healing is doing things differently from before and recognising that you cannot change your life without changing your thoughts and actions.