Verbal abuse

This is when a partner calls you names, shouts at you or snaps often. Or maybe you do that to a partner Verbal abuse is a coping strategy.People learn to use these tactics early on in childhood because they do not feel heard. They then apply these tactics in their adulthood, especially if they are struggling to express a point or to control outcomes. This is because, they want to be right. In these times they resort to these tactics, they feel overwhelmed. Also, they target a weak point or person. They also feel that they can get away with it, or they actually do get away with it from time to time. Perhaps they have now decided to treat a partner like an abusive parent treats a child. Do not allow yourself to be a punching bag for anyone's stresses. They need to learn relational skills and self-regulation. That is their responsibility. The idea is to introduce boundaries. If someone speaks to you in a way you are not comfortable with, walk away mid conversation. There is no need to excuse yourself if they are mid rant. Do not wait for them to get comfortable treating you badly. If this is the first time, nip it in the bud. If it has been happening for a while, it needs to stop. When you walk away, they know why you walked away. When then they are adulting, express that the way they spoke to you about such and such felt disrespectful to you You are not comfortable feeling that way. Use feeling statements. Give them time to adjust, but continue to walk away if they continue with their behaviour. Sometimes, when you create boundaries, people will keep trying to test them, until they know you are serious. You need to be consistent with your boundaries. Do not keep explaining that you feel hurt by their action. Explaining and complaining can come from a place of control. Take action to demonstrate that you feel hurt by their actions. They will get the message if they want to be with you. You can even go away to friends or for a weekend if possible. What allow progresses, and persists. If you are the one who is abusive, then look into whether you are acting against yourself. Remember, nobody wants to be with someone abusive and controlling for life. Work on yourself and heal yourself. If nothing changes, you need to ask yourself. why you are in this situation. Look back to your childhood Is there a situation you are trying to recreate? Heal your inner child. Make decisions in your best interest.