Trusting your choice of partner

Why you need to avoid calling your partner names or abusing them When you start dating you have many options. Even when you are with someone, you still have options. However, you choose to be with someone out of all the people you meet. The choice you make comes from a belief you have in yourself. This means you are trusting your judgement. It is for this reason that you need to step back before you start calling your partner names or abusing them. Foremost, you cannot abuse something you love. No matter how many excuses we put out there, we do not bash our beloved cars or break windows of our beloved homes. We do that when we do not care much for something and it is a convenience. Whatever the outcome of your relationship dynamic, you made a choice. Whatever behaviour your partner exhibits, they are one of your many choices. Just because you made a choice, it does not mean to say that you own this person. It does not mean you command and demand. If your choice seems not to be working in your favour, this is information you need to acknowledge your beliefs and recognise your level of self-trust. This is information to revisit your criteria for making decisions. When you make a relationship choice, you trust yourself and therefore need to trust your partner. You also trust that they chose you. This means trusting and allowing each other to do what is best for your individual selves and for the relationship. Trusting yourself means, you do not have to be insecure about your choice and the choices your partner makes. Whatever they choose is best for them and also for the relationship. Consequently, if they mess up, this means they are doing what is best for the relationship, by demonstrating their inability to commit to the connection or what they got themselves into. In this case, your self-trust means letting them go where the unhealthy situation is chronic, or you are beginning to constantly question yourself. If you have chosen someone who is co-creating an unhealthy dynamic with you, it is helpful to look into your motivation for choosing this person. Consider what behaviours and people your beliefs are leading you to gravitate towards. Also reflect on why you continue to stay with this person. Finally, evaluate what you can do to improve/change your situation. You do this by changing how you show up. . In any unhealthy dynamic, there is a contribution by all parties. One might be the antagonist, and the other one, the enabler. You cannot be in an unhealthy relationship without being part of the problem. Otherwise, you would not be there. Recognise that part of denigrating others, and moreso one of your choices is simply being critical and unhappy of your choices. Again, such information is just data you require to know what action to take. Not to punish or blame yourself. In a nutshell, rather than try to fix your partner to become what you want, by telling, demanding, over-functioning or over explaining, calling them names, hitting or not trusting them, you need to recognise why you are there. It is not their fault you chose them. It is not their responsibility to change for you. It is your responsibility to acknowledge your choices and to change for yourself. You can turn around your self-trust, by changing your beliefs and choosing healthy options. This way, you believe in yourself and you trust your choices. You decision to let go of an unhealthy choice also comes with self-trust. In this state of self-trust, you do not need to be running around someone, trying too hard, correcting or righting their wrongs or forcing them into compliance. You relax because you trust that you made the right choice.

You trust the process. Whatever will be , will be. You can take action from whatever your partner chooses it to be.