Trusting and allowing

The challenge with people or women who love too much lies in trusting and allowing. Due to learned mistrust of parents who were not consistent, adults who were let down by their parents tend to believe that people are not trustworthy. They also do not trust themselves because of the invalidation by parents in childhood. They therefore believe others are not to be trusted.

This is on a very subconscious level and is demonstrated by the behaviours they exhibit when they try to control outcomes.

They do not believe that a partner will step into their role. Therefore they decide to take action to keep the relationship going smoothly.

This is why they overfunction and try to make something happen in the relationship.

The fear of being let down will prompt them to jump into action to avoid getting hurt again.

Consequently, they do not allow a partner through opportunity to step into their role. They do not wait to give someone an opportunity to prove that they can peform their role.

Additionally, because people who love too much are not in tune with their emotions, they have no healthy decision making skills to act in their best interest.

For this reason they might sabotage a relationship and make hasty decisions to act without allowing their partner to do what they can.

The fear of losing a partner can also prompt them to cover the gap so that the partner does not leave.

Not allowing someone to choose to do what they can for the relationship put a partner out of work in the relationship.

Where a partner could have an opportunity to demonstrate their desire to continue choosing, they find the person who loves too much already doing everything.

It is in such moments that people who love too much can put pressure on a relationship and Consequently create toxicity or lose a partner.

Steps

Trust the process. Detach and focus on yourself. Learn to love the self and practice the dichotomy of control. Trust that if someone chooses to get into a relationship, they know what to do. Trust that the right person will do what they need to do for the relationship. Heal the inner child to avoid making a partner pay for your parents' shortcomings. Learn emotional regulation and objective evaluation to make decisions that are in your best interest.

Evaluate and monitor red flags. Allow the wrong matches to fade away if they do not step up. Be OK with rejection..