Trust in relationships

When you trust a partner, that does not mean you are putting your life in their hands. It simply means you trust that they will do what is best. You then allow them to choose and do what is best for them and the relationship. Their best might vary in context, and in your situation, will be seen in how they do relationship with you. Life is a constant project for assessment, planning, implementation and evaluation. If a partner chooses to step into their role and meet the needs of the relationship, that is great. If they do not meet the relationship needs, that is great too. It demonstrates how they feel, nothing to do with your trust. Your task is to detach, focus on your life while you observe their behaviour. Your task is not to try too hard to monitor and manage then, or make them do something. What they do is information you need to move forward. Nobody can, in this lifetime predict what people will do, because their emotional world is their own. That world keeps changing, just like our own, so we only have ourselves to focus on and transform. If in those moments of betrayal by a partner, you do not act appropriately, or in your best interest, to the information you are getting, that becomes an issue of self-trust for you. This stops being about your partner. The idea is to observe behaviour for information you need to move forward.You were never meant to control outcomes. You were meant to use your emotions about a situation as guidance system to create solutions. Trust has nothing much to do with others. It is more about us and our belief and confidence in our judgement, and intuition.

If you trust yourself, you believe in the decisions you make. If you notice something that is not in your best interest, and you trust yourself, you will take action in your best interest. This will help you to keep believing in your decisions, which means, you keeping trusting yourself.

A partner is a mirror.