To minimise regrets, learn to act in your best interest

Many of us have a tendency to come and ask for help when we have messed up. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, and we all mess up. However it is important to avoid making it a habit, to react then regret and confess or ask for help. Because that means you require self-management or self-leadership, to be able to make decisions and take actions in your best interest. If you keep asking for help, while repeating same issues, it can look like you want enabling. This is very subconscious and comes with an inability to take charge of your life. Again, all to do with trauma. Yet, surely, you can recognise that something is not working and requires a different approach. Enabling is very subconscious and sometimes we find people who just tell us what we want to hear. This can lead us to sideline those will tell us what we need to hear. This is because we believe that being on our side people love us. The problem is this, some people want to be needed. So they can can enable you and then you keep going to them to ask for help. Yes, it is a thing. If you recognise that you have made a regrettable mistake, practice detachment. Deep breathing as part of a self-care routine can support you as you detach lean into the bodily sensations of your experience. The reason why you react is because you are not likely pausing to feel your feelings, name them, and pay compassionate attention to the inner critic. This way, you learn to feel your feelings and use them to create solutions. Learn from your mistakes and look into what you can do differently. You can then deliberately enter into situations consciously When you recognise that you have messed up one time , sit with your trigger after the situation and go through the feelings and what you could have done differently, and what you can do in future. Ask yourself questions. What happened? What did I do? How did I feel when I was doing it ? Or when this was happening? Why did I do it? Listen to the thoughts (inner critic) Where did I learn to do things the way I did this? Root cause. Recognise the unmet need. Parent yourself and release the emotions that make you behave unconsciously. Create solutions and start to detach and behave differently. Practice self-care to learn unconditional detachment. You know that you put your hand in the fire and you got burned. It is therefore imperative that you do not keep repeating behaviours that are not in your best interest. It is going to be uncomfortable to detach and start doing things differently. However you need to start with changing your action/behaviour. The feelings will follow. When you detach and and you do not react, or take unhelpful action, this provides you with an opportunity for an objective evaluation of the situation. Release those emotions in a carthartic shake. If you do not do anything about your emotions they will erupt in other interactions or areas of your life. Live your life consciously. Rather than jump to action and regret, pause and reflect. Then take appropriate action and journal. You do this at work, work on a framework or process. Do the same with your personal life and for your peace of mind. You will save your self. You will save your relationships. You will be able to support others with clarity