Tips for SIFTSEM

Remember self-care- meditation, affirmations, gratitude, self-hugs, cathartic shake, deep breathing and setting an intention. Throughout the day Segment intending, mindfulness, forgiveness, kindness, boundaries and SIFTSEM.

Essentials for completing SIFTSEM Journal

1. Before you journal, do the SIFTSEM exercise. Tune into your emotions, breath and scab your body and name what is happening within you. Ask yourself why you feel triggered and soothe your inner child. When you are grounded, or to create solutions, start journaling.

2. Evaluation of previous SIFTSEM means you are evaluating the SIFTSEM you did yesterday. Or your last SIFTSEM.

Refer to parenting and immediate solutions you created. What was the outcome?

3. When you do a SIFTSEM, you are addressing a specific trigger.

Track the trigger, do not go off course.

Focus on one trigger at a time.

4. Root cause needs to directly ask the why question to your trigger question or statement. The two are related. If your trigger is, " I saw my ex and it made me feel sad that we split up", your why question needs to be, “ When I saw my ex, why did I feel sad that we split up?” Or "Why is it that when I saw my ex I felt sad that we split up?"

5. Immediate solutions are exercises for Grounding and soothing. You need to ground and soothe before exploring the solutions.

Touch, hugs, rocking, affirmations, calming oils, rapid eye movement, deep breathing, and cartharsis.

6. When you create intermediate and long term solution's, you start with self-care.

Then you need to explore specific solutions directed at your trigger - The key to solutions lies especially on your pre-triggers, thoughts and root cause/unmet needs.

Pre-triggers exacerbate the impact of triggers.

Thoughts feed your decisions.

Root cause is your reason for triggered state.

To make it easy to classify solutions, you can split your solutions into Three Love Levels.

a) Your first solution intermediate and long term is self-care.

b) Second type of solutions are specific to your trigger. For a break up, they might include generic solutions such as no contact, seeking accountability and a replacement person to text or call, investing in replacement activities to replace touch, such as massage, hugging friends and self. There might be other specific solutions that apply to your situation.

First level – Self-care and self work

Loving self with five love languages and five senses

You can apply specific self-care practices that are helpful for your trigger or situation. For example, if you are struggling with a break up, affirmations for self-worth are essential.

Hold off dating for 6 months at least while you heal.

Second Level – What you do for and about others and your standards for interacting or engaging with close others. Spend time with family, friends and children.

No contact

Healing and support

Loving Boundaries

Third level – The greater good – Help others

Long term

Consistent self-care

Evaluate goals after 6 months and consider dating again.

Monitor red flags if dating.

SIFTSEM TOOL- Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts, Soothing, Endorphin Release, and Meeting Unmet Needs.: A solution focused emotional-regulation and cognitive restructuring tool for triggers.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08TQCYC7G/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_E8A020MMPE9E353SN0NT

The SIFTSEM Journal: The self-healer`s diary to develop emotional awareness and self-management in 90 days.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09CRNQDML/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_HEWF4SNPBS59ACTR1SGC