10 Things you do not have to ask for from a partner

If you know your value, you do not need to put yourself on the sale rack.

As a human being who values yourself, there are behaviours and treatment you need not negotiate or compromise on. You are in a relationship with a grown up who needs to be ideally fit for purpose for their role.

Here is a short list of 10 things you do not need to ask for in a relationship.

1. Communication If they are not stepping forward to communicate and engage, they are chooding not to. Whatever someone is going through, if they want you in their life, they will keep you in the loop.

2. Consistency If there is unpredictability and uncertainty in any way the relationship is being done, give them space for clarity.

3. Quality time. If they do not volunteer to accept or plan dates and outings, they might just not enjoy your company. You could inspire by being good company too, but at some point you ought to realise that it takes two.

4. To hear a partner say "I love you!" This might not apply to all cultures. You cannot make someone feel what they do not feel. If they are not saying it, they are not feeling it. Yes, there are love languages but they all matter.

5. For a ring Ladies, if he is not going down on one knee, he is not seeing himself in a suit next to you yet! You are not likely to enjoy a wedding yoy begged for.

6. Faithfulness You are in a monogamous relationship and if they are seeing other people , you need to avoid self-betrayal. Catch the bus and if he or she wants to follow, ask for proof of inner work or therapy. If you decide to go back, make it a slow trial of a new relationship. The old one is dead.

7. Respect. If you are being treated as if you do not matter, remind yourself you matter. Respect yourself. Do not accept bad treatment, being shouted at, ignored, inconsistencies, or emotional and physical abuse.

8. You ex back

If your ex does not want you back, let them go. Do not go back to what broke you. Besides, begging will make you look desperate and might lead to maltreatment.

9. For your partner to choose between you and someone or something.

If you have to beg them to choose, they will either resent you, or you will be waiting until your hair greys.

10. For a relationship.

If someone felt that you are fit for purpose for relationship with them, they would not be giving other people an opportunity to grab you. Someone who loves you takes you off the shelf. Keep looking.

There are also situations where sex can become an issue in a relationship. Most of the time, this is a symptom of deeper issues. They might not feel safe sleeping with you. Or they might be unwell. Either way, you do not have to beg for sex. If there is any issue, communication matters. Sex is one thing you cannot force someone into. That pushes them away even further.

Space and choosing yourself can solve a lot of problems. If you know your worth, you do not need to negotiate with anyone about how they treat you. It is not your job to convince people to step into their role.

This is not to say that you do not hold discussions about concerns. However, it is helpful to avoid repeating yourself about obvious factors that build a healthy relationship. Otherwise, it simply becomes a control tactic on your part.

Heal for your relationships.