There is no rush to take them home

Slowing down your relationships at the start or during a reconnection

Avoid taking someone home too soon when you meet them. Do not take someone home too soon when you broke up and are reconnecting. Treat it as the new relationship it is, and build it from scratch.

Focus on dating in public and see how things go.

Avoid the desire to perform girlfriend or wife duties early on, no matter how great a cook you are. Or how great your house looks.

Sometimes, the desire to show someone how great a catch you are, by showing them your achievements can lead to rushing relationship. This can be a red flag your end. These things can wait.

Equally, do not go to their home early on.

Do not take the whole dating experience fun out of the equation, by rushing to go "home" and be a "couple!" Let them wait. They will see all of you and what you have later on. Just as you will see all of them and whatever they gave later. Do not be lured by their possessions or their looks.

When you rush them home, that does not give both of you an opportunity to understand each other on a deeper level.

If you are reconnecting, by rushing home, you do not get the opportunity to observe what has changed since you broke up.

At home, you might put yourself in a position where saying no is a challenge, to sexual advances, due to proximity.

By performing couple duties early on, you might end up looking like you want to speed the relationship up.

After all I the first three months you might not even be exclusive, or have any idea of where the relationship is going.

Rushing home might also lead to your date or ex relaxing, without the incentive to step up.

You got to ask yourself why you feel the need to rush.

Outside, there you will not only notice how they show up in public, you will also observe whether there is pressure to go to bed. If you are reconnecting, be mindful that rushing home or to bed might be all they want , without doing the work to improve the dynamic.

This might be the reason your reconnection is not successful.

Enjoy the moment in public dates. Go to places and experience life in its rawness. Explore interests and hobbies and find out how you both show up separately as well as together and for the relationship.

If in the phase of getting to know each other you notice red flags, release them back into the dating pool. Let the reconnection go.

When you start taking them home, or going home with them, do not rush to bed. Notice how they communicate, notice how they cope with stresses of home life, and notice their lifestyle. Is home a place to sleep, or a place to live?

To be continued....