The return of someone who ghosted you for weeks

When someone who left for weeks without a word, returns and acts as if they are completing a sentence in a book they need to explore ideas about, you might need to step back and reflect on your boundaries. In fact, when someone ghosts you is the time to look into your values and how you can show up for yourself. Create solutions about what to do when they return using a SIFTSEM. What are the pre-triggers to their ghosting? What other perspective is out there? If you want to move on and change how you do relationships, it might be helpful to weed out this wrong match early on. Painful as it might be, it helps to parent yourself, block , delete number and move on. Especially due to the attachment. Create solutions about what to do if they find a way to reach out. People test waters only because they might want to test your boundaries and how far you are willing to go to show them how much they matter. It could be an ego boost. Or they went out there and realised nothing could fill their void, so they believe you are the only available person to help with that. Basically, what you accept and allow continues. It might not likely benefit you to confront someone who ghosted and returned. However, depending on the quality of the communication they send, if you did not block them, which I would for a short period, you could say, " It is lovely to hear from you. I noted that you disappeared without explanation last time. What has changed?" Do not respond to "hey" or "hi" or emojis with paragraphs. They are not even worth entertaining, but you could , if you want , send a message and let them know that you wish them well if they send such non-messages. Basically, when you send text back, it means you are being pulled in to do the work that they cannot do. Them you start asking questions, challenging them and feeling frustrated when they go quiet or tell you what they believe you will want to hear. If you probably were in the process of moving forward, the moment you respond to ghosters , you might get back on the grind, struggling to be seen, acknowledged and understood. It might be best to let them go. You will meet someone else. Learn from this experience. Do not consider everyone you meet to be the forever after you are looking for. Their behaviour is a demonstration of characters and that is what you need to focus on. A pattern of taking back people who disappear and appear will lead to a difficult trauma bond from which you cannot extract yourself easily. People continue to treat you as you allow them to treat you.

Keep looking for a situation that is in your best interest, instead of investing in a person who is not on the same page. There are too many wounded souls looking for somewhere to feel a sense of worthiness and being special when they notice someone cannot live without them. Deep down they feel defective and there you are, showing them they matter. While they might like the sound of being treated as important or that they matter, they are afraid that it might not last. This is due to their early life experience. Because, you cannot override a programme that has been running for years. A programme that was installed by their mum and dad! Focus on yourself, and work to work on your own programme that might take you back to a place that made you ill.