The red flag you need to be more aware of.

When you start making excuses for a partner's behaviour.

Red flags are not necessarily about what someone else is doing in the relationship. What you do in the relationship can also be a red flag. Self-betrayal is a red flag in any situation. It is a red flag if you are making excuses for someone who is treating you badly, who is cheating on you, who is inconsistent and who is not showing up for the relationship. It is a red flag if you lie to people about the relationship when you know things are not great. It is a red flag when you defend an abusive partner.

Your partner might have started withdrawing and you make out that they are under pressure and he needs time.

Perhaps they broke up with you and then came back, and told you they do not want a relationship after the sex restarted. You then claim that they are scared and need more time.

They might even be seeing other people, which is not something you agreed on, yet you keep making excuses that it means nothing to them.

They might disrespect you and treat you like an option, yet you still claim that when it is good, it is really good.

Consider why you assume that you know what is best for this person than they are telling you? When did you become their parent? Their spokesperson? Their representative?

People know what they want and are allowed to change their minds. Yet, it is respectful and self-respecting to accept what they are telling you.

People can be comfortable when they see you, without wanting a relationship with you.

What you might want to consider is that you are in denial. You are scared to destroy the illusion that is this relationship.

This person might just not be into you.

It is helpful to avoid betraying yourself just to feel that you are in a relationship. Or to be with someone.

Ask yourself why you are doing this to yourself, where you learned it and what you can start doing to put yourself first and prioritise yourself.

You might be struggling with self-respect , because you have put them on the pedestal. You fear losing them.

Their behaviour is not a reflection on you or your worthiness. They are simply choosing. You are just not their choice right now.

Set them free. Let them go.

If you feel like you are on a rollercoaster, there is nothing to stick around for. Get off the ride and find somewhere with consistency and stability.

You deserve the love you are reserving for this person you are making excuses for. You need you. To commit to you. To be loyal to you.

Other people need to do the same for themselves.