The importance of a support group for healing

One of the important elements of healing and recovering from unhealthy relationship patterns, is to find a group of peers who are healing or have recovered from your similar experience.

You can find codependency groups or Al-Anon, Alcoholic Anonymous groups. Or any group that is dealing with your similar problem. If you do not find a suitable group, try to find a group (of women if you are a woman or a group of men if you are a man) who are dealing with the emotional problems around relationship dependency.

Or you can start your own group.

It is important to take group-work seriously. It is not an unstructured meeting where people talk about awful things about men or women or how unlucky they are.

Healing groups need to be discussing recovery, childhood trauma and and intentionally sharing tools for your healing.

If you are in a group where they are consistently bashing men if you are women or bashing women if they are men, then it is not likely that you are in a group that will help you to recover.

The group needs to be focused on helping members to get better. They need to be other members we have also achieved a measure of recovery and can share their progress.

There are also groups which are really good because they have a structure of recovery work which is the same for any recovery no matter what you have experienced in the past or what your situation is at the moment.

A support group needs to ask you to make a commitment to yourself and to the group, for your own sake. It does take long to feel a part of a group and to get used to the routine and grasp the recovery process.

Regular attendance, being there and also to show up is required for your benefit. Ideally you need to have a certain level of trust.

However, even if that is not yet there, you need to be honest. You can talk about your lack of trust in others, in the group, in the process. As you talk about that, your trust also will begin to grow in yourself. However you need to be open to feedback and adhere to guidelines of the group.

When others share their stories, you identify with them and their experiences. The group can help you become more in touch with yourself as you identify with others and accept them despite their flaws and secrets.

You can also observe use of tools and how they are working for others. When others share what is not working in the lives, you can also avoid it.

Smiles in recognition of each other in groups as you get used to each other can also help you with your healing. It cheers you up. A sense of belonging is created in a group setting.

In any valid support group your confidentiality needs to be maintained and your privacy respected and protected.

In this community we also encourage accountability, where someone will remind you of what you need to do, and support and encourage you.

A group is also helpful for many people to practice relationships. You need an environment to learn to communicate, to give and receive feedback and to learn boundaries.