The hidden opportunities in our weaknesses!

SWOT your life!

We all have things, behaviours , habits we are good at. They might be negative, or have negative outcomes. Or they are not done with the best of intention. Many of us have strengths hidden in our weaknesses.

Sometimes you believe that you cannot get out of your rut, or that you cannot heal or change your life.

However, what you spend most of your time doing, thinking or that dominant attitude or thoughts or beliefs you have, can be reframed or can be replaced by something positive that requires the same energy.

In life there are things you do to yourself, for yourself and to and for others.

These might be good or harmful.

Look at the helpful opposite of what you do that requires the same energy.

Or look into a replacement exercise that matches the energy you invest in an unhealthy habit.

Or apply same energy towards a different goal you need to accomplish, especially for your healing.

If you have something you do religiously, perhaps explore how you can apply same approach to incorporate self-care and behaviour change in your life.

Explore any problematic behaviours or something you are really good at. They can be an answer to your healing.

If you have the ability and energy to do something even if it is negative, then you can also apply same willpower to do the opposite positive. Or to have a positive outcome, by changing the behaviour or attitude of doing that negative thing.

Maybe you feel strongly that you do not have any strengths. We all do. Sometimes our strengths are hidden in our maladaptive coping strategies.

1. You might do the opposite of your weaknesses. 2. You might apply healthy replacement activities to your weaknesses. 3. You might gradually learn to revise the intention and the task. 4. Set an intention to put focus on yourself and what is helpful for you.

5. You could apply a mindset you use to accomplish a goal, to work on a difference goal or your healing. When you are trying to heal, you might feel that you do not have a start or not know where to start. If for example you have a habit of sending a partner long texts, or complaining, or writing posts where you complain. Recognise that you could still write long things, but in a journal focusing on how you are feeling and how it is impacting you and how you might help yourself. If you are in the habit of looking for harmful or negative information about others, and spreading information, you might start to focus on yourself. Look into what is not working in your life, spread that information on a piece of paper. Seek support and change your life. Perhaps you are good are over committed to physical exercise, such that it has become an addiction, because you do not tune in to your emotions. Use the same strategy to learn to sit with your emotions and strengthen your emotional regulation muscle. Perhaps you start with a glass of wine to feel calm, and end up with an empty bottle. Make a cup of tea and calm yourself with five love languages and five senses. Remind yourself you need clarity. You might be spending money on gambling or drugs or alcohol. You could look into spending the money on therapy or counselling, or paying for your healing. You might spend time stalking an ex, their new partner or a person you feel is a threat to you or your relationship. You could follow a self-help group or read a resource that can help you transform your life. Where you spend time trying to work out if someone loves you or not. Or whether a crush is on line. You could spend that equal amount of time tracking your thoughts and reframing, and whether you are aligned. Where you might spend energy trying to compete with someone, compete with yesterday's version of yourself. Instead of trying to prove your point to someone, prove your point to yourself on a journal. Look into what you lose by going inwards and letting go. If you keep quiet to make the peace, learn to go inwards and meditate. From there you get guidance to keep the peace from an authentic place. Where you find that you have a love for reading but your life is in turmoil, read self-help books. Learn to do things differently. Perhaps you find yourself trying to fix a partner and tell them what to do. Perhaps you see what they are doing wrong. Use your voice to appreciate, to encourage, and to address your own issues. Where you have a strong support circle and you find that they support you in dysfunctional situations, invest in different behaviours and they will support you if they have your best interest. If you find out that you hang out to get drunk or do drugs, introduce meditation, gratitude, and journaling. Buy books and share them round when you meet.

If you recognise that in a relationship, you are constantly complaining, you could look into repeating affirmations, learning reframes and using a few words of appreciation everyday. If you have anger and constantly lash out at a partner, you could apply the same energy towards practicing deep breathing, carthatic exercise while learning to lean into your emotions and journaling. Where you have a strong influence on your circle but you have some self-destructive habits, invite a coach in your circle. Or start to preach the healing gospel. Maybe you are religious and go to your place of worship every week, timed prayers but you recognise you have unhealthy habits. Develop a routine that you commit to after every prayer, or after visiting your place of worship. Perhaps you shout at others to hear you. Learn to parent yourself and become a speaker and shout out the message of your healing to the world.

Whatever you do a lot that might be a distraction, not beneficial or unhealthy, can be replaced. You can turn what you do with lots of effort into something positive if you choose to. After all, you are doing something anyway. Do what is healthy. Do what is helpful instead.