The fear of upsetting a partner with space

Space is an important element of healthy relationships. If you find yourself constantly wanting to be with a partner , day in , day out, that is not healthy.

There are partners who do not take space in the relationship, or do not invest in other relationships, because they fear their partner will cheat, will be upset or will lose interest.

When you spend all your time with a partner, you become enmeshed and that is not healthy.

A partner who wants you to spend every waking moment with him or her is controlling.

Ultimately, they stop you from investing in other relationships, which consequently leads to isolation and many times abuse. This is because this person might try to control your every behaviour and action.

If you fear going out because a partner might cheat, perhaps from history, consider that people will cheat if they intend to, due to their unhappiness in a relationship anyway, whether you see them daily or not.

In fact pressure and control will likely lead to those who are predisposed, to betray their partner to such action anyway.

If someone threatens to cheat because you are investing in yourself, and spending time away from them, it is likely that you do not need to be around such toxicity.

If you fear that your partner will either leave or get upset if you move away from them or invest in other relationships, then you most likely do not have any business being in this relationship. Nobody needs to parenting in a relationship. You need to be with someone who has their own life as you have your own.

Consider whether it is you who is insecure about leaving them, if perhaps there is past history or you have a history of meeting people who betray you.

If you fear that your partner will lose interest when you go out without them, then it helps to explore your insecurities. If they lose interest because you have a life, that is control, and they were not invested anyway.

In all cases, do not attach to outcomes.

You need to invest in yourself and in other relationships.

Do not attach someone to your goals. If they do not accommodate your other relationships, then it means they might struggle with your sense of self. Ultimately, you end up controlling each other and making each other unhappy. Be OK losing someone who does not want to grow and expand.

You have so much potential outside this relationship. You are a part of a family, circles, groups and the larger whole. You are not born to co-create or build life with one person. You have other relationships to invest in and grow in, in different ways. Take back control. Go out alone, with friends, and to volunteer. Encourage your partner to do the same.

You need a village.

Love on three levels.

To have a life

An immediate circle.

To invest in the greater good.

Heal for your relationships.