The disease process of loving too much

The struggle to recover from relationship addiction is just similar to recovery from any condition or addiction.

However, the recovery can make the difference between life and death.

In order to heal from relationship addiction, a correct diagnosis is required. Even when you consult a professional, you need to be familiar with the signs and symptoms, so that you can be diagnosed correctly.

Symptoms of relationship addiction by Norwood

1. Repeated attempts to control a relationship.

2. Unexplained mood swings.

3. Anger, depression, guilt , resentment, violent acts, irrational acts.

4. Accidents due to preoccupation.

5. Self-hate. Self-justification.

6. Physical illness due to stress related diseases.

Steps to recover.

1. Admit helplessness to control the unhealthy attachment to relationships. It is difficult to identify loving too much as a disease because there is no substance involved.

In the medical field it is difficult to refer to behaviour is a disease process. This is why medics might not recognise alcoholism until someone has physical manifestations.

It is also difficult to diagnose loving too much as a disease because of the deeply held beliefs about love and relationships. We believe suffering is a mark of love.

By the time it is obvious there is a problem, the person might be showing physical manifestations. For example, someone who loves too much might gradually develop high blood pressure. Without the bigger picture, they might continue to struggle. This is because symptom management does not tackle the root of the problem.

2. Stop blaming others for problems. Rather than blame, these people need to acknowledge their responsibility to heal.

3. Focus on the self and take responsibility for own life and actions. Take steps to heal and participate in their healing.

4. Seek help from peers to recover. Join support groups where they can maintain boundaries and their recovery process.

5. Begin to deal with your feelings instead of avoiding them. The problems start due to denial of feelings, therefore acknowledging feelings is key to recovery.

6. Build a circle of well and healthy friends and interests. Healthy friends can support unwell others to heal.

Addiction to relationships or alcohol affects all areas of life progressively. The effects proceed from emotional to physical. The impact of any addiction involves children, friends, neighbours, colleagues, parents and siblings.