The cost of loving too much

Many people who love too much can become junkies who are riddled with pain, suffering and yearning. When people love too much, they might also have another addiction , such as alcohol, drugs, food, or undereating or exercise etc.

These are coping strategies to tune out, distract, and numb the emotional emptiness within.

Letting go of the habit of loving too much goes hand in hand with recovery from addiction to any other substance or behaviour.

Our addictions bring about fear, shame, guilt and self-hate. Loneliness leads to yearning for a lover. We believe that the lover will stop our addictions when they bring us love.

The end of a relationship means failure to us, and even more addiction to our substance of choice in order to soothe.

We struggle with an addiction worsened by being in an unhealthy relationship. Or the impact of our addiction on our chaotic relationship.

We make excuses about the impact of not being in a relationship as a reason for our addiction.

We blame our addiction for ab unhealthy relationship, and our unhealthy addiction for our unhealthy relationship. We use one to manage the other.

In the process we avoid ourselves and avoid pain. The solutions we apply for our relationships become our problems.

We deny needing help, and struggle to attempt our healing or to continue.

We might blame our partner, and talk about them as if they are the only problem in the relationship.

We need to focus on ourselves and heal.

To acknowledge that we have a problem.

Seek support and heal.

Love on three levels