The biggest responsibility we carry

What kind of people are we bringing up or bringing into the world?

As parents or adults we have a duty to recognise that our patterns do not stop with us .

Our patterns do not just impact our relationships or ourselves.

Our patterns in relationships, or the work place and in life affect other people.

When we wish to raise children, nobody teaches us that parenting has a bearing on how these young people turn out in society.

When we reflect on how we are showing up in relationships, in life and with others, we can recognise that we are modeling behaviour for future generations.

So, when we are fighting for unhealthy relationship, and our patterns continue, we need to remember that we are teaching our children relationships and life.

As we stay in unhealthy relationships, we are teaching our children how little we value yourself.

We demonstrate our decision making skills. We set an example of how relationships are done.

At the sane time we are putting a massive responsibility on our children: for our happiness.

Children feel guilty when we are unhappy.

They take it personally and believe that there is something wrong with them, because we cannot function effectively in our role as parents who love them.

We cannot be unhappy and provide healthy emotional support for someone else.

Our children start to deny their own emotions or their need for love, because they can see our struggles.

They therefore try to put our needs first. They take care of us and try to make us happy in order to be loveable. That is because in unhealthy relationships, we cannot put our needs first, nor can we prioritise the wellbeing of our children as much as we want to.

Many times, we also make children our punching bags and punish them for their father's sins, mother's sins or just because they have no defense.

In this context we can bring into the world damaged people who are severely debilitated and incapable of relating with society in a healthy way. Sometimes we do not recognise this, until we actually reflect on our adult children's coping patterns and recognise how they might have adapted to our lack of love.

We are not perfect.

We might have already made some mistakes.

But with this information, we can start to assess where we are.

Notice the adverse impact on our children.

Prioritise our wellbeing and that of our children.

Disengage in toxic dynamics.

Leave if things are not working.

Heal for ourselves.

Heal for our children.

Heal for our relationships.

Heal for the nations and for the world.