The best time to heal or to apply tools

What we might believe is that during a crisis, we need to focus on the crisis. However, during a crisis is the time we need tools to parent and manage ourselves.

In times when we feel guilty about creating boundaries for our loved ones.

Or when we say no, when we are previously used to saying yes.

When we end a difficult relationship.

When we enforce a boundary with a child.

When tired, hungry, stressed or depressed.

When we might not have received or have lost something we really wanted.

When we feel let down, abandoned, ill or rejected.

We need mother.

We need a caregiver to hear us.

To understand us.

To validate us.

To nurse and soothe us.

Because mother will understand.

However, mother is us for us as adults.

Even before we turn to a lover, a friend or a support group.

We need to give ourselves the attention love and to apply fit for purpose solutions in our lives.

So, when we are in these situations, we neednot feel that we need to stop our inner work. This is actually the time we need to apply healing and learn to manage ourselves.

Challenges provide us with moments of clarity.

They help us to learn to manage ourselves and choose our final focus.

Additionally, sometimes when everything is going well, we abandon tools. In doing this, we abandon ourselves.

We abandon the second level of love.

We abandon the greater good.

We believe that because the relationship is working well, we no longer need to make any adjustments or changes. We forget that we have not addressed root cause, and that we need to invest in three levels of love in order to thrive in our relationships.

When then things go wrong, they come down on us like a ton of bricks. Unprepared we struggle, suffer and retreat into depression or a malignant anxiety.

Yet, if we make tools a way of life, waking up to ourselves with self-care, regulating emotions and making fit for purpose decisions with SIFTSEM, journaling, practising mindfulness and kindness, boundaries and reflection, we live I a state of acceptance of the unpredictability of life. This acceptance helps us to learn unconditional peacefulness , through use of tools.

Life will happen and we need to be ready, just as we are ready for work. We might not respond perfectly at all times, but we have opportunities to apply tools before, after and during situations.

Love on three levels.

SIFTSEM

Becoming the one by VZM Author are all available on Amazon to help you with your healing.