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Following a break up, the temptation is to reach out, to try and try to get back together to where things were before. Yet, that might not be the best time, and not the best action to take. Remember that break ups do not generally happen overnight. Someone decides to break up with you over a few days, weeks or months before they take action. If you are trying too hard to make your ex see you, you might need to understand that sometimes the answer you seek is not available right now. Please try again later. When you are in a state of neediness. When you desperately want something. When what you want seems elusive. When the relationship is not working And the person you thought you had found is leaving, That is not the time to be putting pressure on anyone or to be chasing this person at all. The problem is that you are bleeding, and you need time to heal. You are also coming from a place of scarcity. If there is too much discomfort around a relationship, that is not the time to try and engage with the situation. Maybe you have broken up with someone, recognise that you have wounds that need healing. Now is not the time to fix this break up, or to find a replacement in others or things. Now is not the time to look for your ex to talk to you. Not the time to try and make them understand your perspective. When you are in lack mindset, the only likely outcome is attracting more lack. When you are chasing out of desperation, they will run even faster away from you. This is because it is scary to be loved that much by someone, you wonder whether they have any left for themselves. Do not be in a rush to get answers from others. Seek the answers within. Avoiding trying to get all that you want from what has been removed. Think through why they might have been removed from your life. A break up provides feedback that there is something else in store for you. It might not help to keep trying to put together what has been broken.

In these moments, it might help to focus more on loving and parenting yourself and soothing yourself.

Trust the process and recognise that whatever you want is like a seed you have planted in the ground. Trust and allow the seed to germinate and grow in its own time, while you tend to the soil.

When it germinates, you still need to allow it to grow in its own time, while you attend to the weeds and bugs. Sometimes , like your break up, your relationships mature and end. Take this time to step back, and grieve the loss while you look within. Give yourself mother and parent yourself. What is this teaching you? Something else is likely coming to you in its own time. This is the time to trust the process. If the process removes, the process will one day replace. When the replacement is ripe and ready. Trying to fix is like knocking on earth for a seed you planted and asking it to germinate. That is not going to speed up the process. You might even keep the seed down, or destroy the seedling, if you keep checking. Enjoy the process. Focus on what you have. Heal your emotions. Invest in yourself. Invest in other relationships; family, friends, public. When then you get into the next relationship, you will appreciate that you waited for the right reasons.

Even if the next relationship is with this person.