Texting back or responding to a partner's communication

You do not need to explain yourself to anyone about how long it takes you to text back. You can respond when you feel like responding even when you are online.

The moment you have to explain yourself about when to respond to a text message, you are in a controlling toxic relationship.

What you need are boundaries as soon as possible. What I believe is the first step to formulate boundaries is to avoid engaging with this type of communication.

A simple, " I have been busy" would suffice, then disengage

After that you can wait to engage in person and express that you are concerned about the pressure to respond.

If a partner does not understand that there is no pressure to respond, it might be best to release them. The moment you try to reassure such a person is the moment enabling begins. Your partner might believe they are entitled to order you around.

Consider whether this behaviour is what you would like in a relationship a year or 5 years from now.

The same applies to when you are also the one impatiently waiting for a text message. There is life outside these text message, outside this relationship and this person.

Do not put pressure on anyone to respond to your messages. Focus on your life and observe whether this is their habit or your anxiety.

Consider that if they wanted to, they would, and if they do not, it is not personal.

It is not your responsibility to change people who are choosing. It is your responsibility to manage your expectations, and identify whether you are on the same page or not.

It is ok to express appreciation when they show up, and also ensure that you are creating great moments for someone to enjoy and look forward to your communication and company.

If it is their inconsistent habit, ask yourself what you are doing with someone inconsistent. If it is your anxiety,use SIFTSEM toolkit on Amazon. Sit with your anxiety and apply root cause and parent yourself. Practice self-care daily!

As you take control of aspects of life of self-management through self-parenting and decision making, you gradually wean yourself from emotional dependence. You will therefore rely less on the soothing of a partner and seek instead, interdependence and reciprocation.