Swallowing feedback with more water.

Most of us do not know our shortcomings or blind slots because we are surrounded by people who tell us what we want to hear.

We grew up with criticism, and our coping strategy is to block out criticism. To us though, criticism is no longer how our parents spoke to us. It is now any comment or compliment from another person about us.

Anything we might not have thought of ourselves is seen as an attack. Any work appraisal session becomes a battlefield. Even when there are positives we filter.

We push back to shut people down.

We run.

We look down on people giving us feedback and use literature to make them feel inadequate.

The excuse of freedom of choice is thrown in randomly.

Or we throw in what they did last time to settle a score. We cannot learn, we are constantly waiting for and appreciating only people who say , " Well done!"

Yet, if we were perfect, we would not need to grow, to expand. In groups or in relationships we learn from feedback. In life, we are constantly giving each other feedback. Feedback comes in different forms. Words, action, non-action. An end of a relationship is feedback. Struggling in a relationship is feedback.

Other people might see our blind spots better than us. We need to be grateful for the opportunity to learn. To enlarge our public arena on the Johari Window. To become more conscious, more transparent, more approachable and more expressive in our relationships.

The only way to do that is by being open to any feedback.

Learn to balance feedback without feedback.

Be willing to hear areas you need to work on.

Look at areas you are struggling with and write them down.

Pay attention to how feedback feels to you.

How you respond to or apply feedback.

SIFTSEM and keep reparenting yourself to identify that you are not in danger. You only need to learn from the information you get.

Express what you struggle with to others and work on soothing.

It takes time to get used to receiving information you did not know about yourself. Many people live around people who walk on eggshells around them, or people who talk behind their back. So they do not get to know their blind spots.

Recognise that the way you receive feedback also demonstrates how you do conflict. This is what determines whether you make or break your relationships.