Step children

Maybe both of you brought children from previous relationships. If you are struggling with having a step child live with you when you live with your own child who is not your partner's child, it helps to reflect on a few points. 1. Consider what you would do if your partner was refusing to have your child? Besides, your partner does not need your permission to live with their child. It is helpful that you reverse roles and reflect on what this would mean if it was you.

It helps to avoid putting people in a situation where they need to choose between their child and a partner. There is so much love to give around. 2. Children are traumatised by the seperation of parents. It is important to recognise this in their reactive or unhealthy behaviours. They are trying to cope or hiping that if they behave in a certain way, they can manipulate the situation and get their parents back together. 3. When you have a step child coming over and they have behaviour problems, avoid self fulfilling prophesies. When you brace yourself expecting the worst, you might not see anything differently in the situation or the child. 4. When you are getting into a blended family, it is important to not only seek resources for conscious parenting, it is equally helpful to seek support to help the children to cope. 5. Learn to create boundaries in your life, and standards of acceptable behaviour. 6. However make all children feel a part of the family. Be supportive and treat children you have in your home like your own. Not on a superficial level, but from a place of love and compassion. 7. Learn to detach if children are triggering you. Listen to your body and what it is telling you. You need to access your inner mother as you parent children Learn self-care, and to learn to use your support system to parent yourself and act in your best interest. Children, even our own are a source of triggers Yet, everyone is, and children need us to help them to view the world differently. They need our guidance to thrive in this world. Even if they are not our own children, we still have a duty of care. Children grow up and we need to ensure we raise adults who will credit us for how they turned out, whenever possible.