Stages of healing

Use of healing modalities comes in stages of physical and spiritual. These stages can be likened to the gestation process. For example, you might want a fruit and you buy the seed. Perhaps someone you know has a treee already and they already get fruits. You cannot compare yourself with those who are eating their harvest and eat your seed.

You need to start from scratch, and nurture the soil and plant your seed, continue to feed and water the soil and trust the gestation process.

So it is that you cannot compare yourself with people who have done a lot of work, and are now dating with positive outcomes. You still need to plant your seed. Start with your healing at a physical level and move up the scale to spiritual.

During the early physical phase, you need to seek and apply a range of tools to manage yourself. In this community, you might start a lengthy process of daily SIFTSEM . This is unfamiliar territory for you, and might feel like a waste of time. Yet, we are struggling because we deny our emotions due to conditioning.

When you are still struggling to make decisions in your best interest, or you are reactive, the only way to heal is to tune into your emotions and use them to create solutions.

This exercise helps you to recognise the bodily manifestation of your reactions or trauma. Additionally, you tune into the cognitive distortions and root cause of your behaviour.

Steps

Familiarise yourself with what you feel and what you do when you feel it.

Familiarise yourself with you bodily sensations, images and emotions. E

xplore your thoughts to recognise the inner critic associated with your beliefs.

Ask yourself root cause of your trigger.

Parent yourself and create solutions.

Implement the solutions in your daily life.

Evaluate your solutions or behaviour.

Journal. The more you practice this exercise, the more you will be in a position to detach. When you detach, you focus inwards, soothe yourself and create an opportunity to act in your best interest.

Eventually, you will learn to seperate what is yours from what belongs to others. You also learn to differentiate past from present.

Repeating this exercise as a habit shortens the time you need to do it. Meanwhile, as you continue other facets of self-care, such as meditation, affirmations, hugs, gratitude, cartharsis, setting an intention, reframes, as well as applying all five love languages and five senses in your routine, you can learn to apply them in a short space to soothe and regulate yourself. When you have mastered self-parenting and minimised reactions, you can move to the next level of quick body scanning, deep breathing, reframes and decision making in a short space. Eventually, you can complete this exercise in 90 seconds. Quick self-parenting brings you back to the present moment in a short time than when you have not healed trauma, and you are not familiar with your emotions and triggers. This spiritual stage at which you are proficient with managing a trigger, is where you have practiced what to do with different kinds of thoughts and emotions.

The spiritual stage is more about sustainability, where you have embeded tools in your daily life. Detaching , self-soothing, solutions and cartharsis have become a way of life.

The spiritual stage still relies on emotions. The only difference between the two stages is that on the physical stage you are stull training, and trying to incorporate tools. On the spiritual level, tools are a way of life.

Your emotions remain your guidance system. Tune in to what is happening in your body, and use it to create solutions. However, you are now in a position to detach, deduce and decide in a short time. This helps you to get back to the present in a short time, or without being overwhelmed by negative emotions or a situation.

You accept what happens to you, because you have practiced welcoming uncertainty as a trigger for growth. You are not afraid of your emotions because they are your guidance system. You have an idea of what to do, because you have done it before. You have trust and belief in yourself, because you know what helps you. You have developed compassion for yourself and have positive self-regard. You know you got this.

Even when you might feel overwhelmed due to pre-triggers, you have an idea of how to be your parent. You can prioritise solutions such as gratitude, self-hugs, reframes, affirmations, cartharsis and a priority of solutions in a short time. You can then revisit this trigger later on and do a whole objective evaluation exercise. When you are at this level, congratulations, you have mastered self-leadership. You are not perfect, but you can manage even with your imperfections