Some signs you love too much

Perhaps you feel lonely and believe that a romantic relationship might heal your loneliness. You are hard working and all you do is focus on your work and achievements.

You meet a man, and seem to hit it off. However, you notice that you are doing all the talking and he likes it. You might believe that he is interested in you and what you have to say, so you keep talking.

You might believe all is going well, when you do a lot for him. Cook him meals, offer to go to him instead of him coming to you. You may offer to help him with money.

You initiate contact and call when you get home to make sure he knows you got home alright.

In essence, you love looking after a man and make it your purpose to do everything in your power to make sure he feels seen.

Distancing

The man might let you know directly or in subtle ways, such as distancing that he feels pressure. Yet, the more he creates space, the more you feel inclined to get into the gap to make up for what he is not doing.

He might begin to retreat, and you then get busy trying to make him emotionally available. You try your best to make him present in the relationship. You attempt to fix him so that he can be fit for purpose for relationship with you.

You might try too hard to maybe visit him and spend time with him even when he ignores you, or when goes out with his friends and leaves you in his place.

You cannot accept that this man on is not into you. Soon enough everything falls apart. You feel responsible for the situation, which is why you try to fix. You believe there is something wrong with you. You believe being in love is being in pain.

Loving too much is being obsessed about someone and calling it love. Allowing the obsession to control your emotions and behaviour. Being aware that this obsession is affecting your health and the quality of your life, you still cannot let go. You are claiming that the extent of your love is equivalent to the extent of your torment or pain.

You might end up not wanting to get into relationships because you are afraid of the same pattern of rejection.

What to do

Acknowledge that you love too much.

Heal your inner child.

Spend time alone and outside romantic relationships for a while. There is no rush.

Learn to develop a secure attachment and rely on yourself as your safe base and safe haven.

You can get into a healthy relationship if you learn to love yourself instead of attaching your worthiness to romance.