Shaping the conversations in your relationships.

One behaviour or attitude that contributes to relationship tension or demise is impatience and lack of emotional awareness. In the moments a partner or suitor is not doing something you want, you might feel inclined to challenge them. This comes from lack of patience which can overwhelm the other person. If a partner is not reaching out or being consistent, and you can detach and focus on parenting yourself before you reach out. If you have to reach out. When you challenge someone , or when you do not choose your words or approach consciously, they can sense your agitation. Your agitation comes from the story that you might have concluded in your head. Do not make up situations to support the way you negatively feel. This is why you are invited to SIFTSEM and self-parent, if a situation feels triggering or challenging. Communication while grounded comes from a place of clarity. The opposite of challenging someone or forcing outcomes is to inspire. It is easy to understand that in a relationship, you might want to be on the sake page with your partner. However, as we all know people treasure their freedom, and trying too hard can feel forceful to them and feel like a trap to let go of their freedom. Observe the angle from which you are operating and soothe and express in a way that inspires. Animals and human beings, gravitate towards something of benefit to them. If it feels like fun communicating with you and being with you, your partner does not have any choice except to reach out. This is because he or she feels good around you. Also, if you reach out in a fun, expressive, non blaming and curious way, then you are likely to get a positive response. You cannot expect positive communication when you are not initiating it. Or when you are attacking! People are afraid of letting go of their peace of mind. When operating from a place where you are not grounded, you scare other people. If you are expressing upset, disappointment, blame and complaints at the start of a relationship, or with each situation that you are not happy about, then they do not feel safe.

When you try too hard, it feels scary to the other person. The fear of losing freedom, goes hand in hand with lack of emotional safety. Losing freedom is like being in jail. Therefore, rather than expose your partner to feeling jailed, let them feel as though their freedom and choices are safe. Even you require someone fun, friendly and inspirational, not a jailer or someone to fear. Give your partner the same person. The same life. The same peacefulness you desire.