Set your partner free

When you are concerned because your man might go somewhere without you, look into your own insecurities.

Many times you might agree some boundaries about some no-nos in your relationship.

Perhaps you have sworn that you will not put up with a partner doing certain things or going to certain places. Then you probably suspect your partner wants to do that thing you boundaried, or that you do not like.

You are not wrong for being upset.

It is what you need to do about it that makes a difference.

Foremost, SIFTSEM

Sit with your feelings and name them.

Explore your thoughts.

What is the root cause of your distress? How did you come to the conclusion about this value?

Is it what your partner might do or where they might go, or is the problem to do with your insecurity? In which case you can end up trying to control others to feel relief.

Soothe yourself.

What other thoughts can you apply to this situation to challenge your own?

What solutions can you apply to honour yourself if this is a no-no?

Is it worth leaving a good relationship for?

Consider what you can do or where you can go in the time that your partner is away, in order to live your life.

If you have decided this is a deal breaker, let this person go. You do not have to control their movements.

Do not expect a partner to constantly work his life or schedule around you.

A partner needs to live their life. So do you.

This is tough, but this is what you might need to learn.

To let go.

To be ok being away from each other sometimes.

To trust and allow the adult you are in a relationship with to choose where they go, and how they behave when they go there.

Spend some time investing in something exciting with your immediate circles and friends.

If you trust and allow him to do what is best, your partner is likely to continue to show up for the relationship. They need to feel free, to feel safe and trusted.

If you get into the space and tell a partner what to do or what not to do, they are likely to ultimately do what is best for the relationship. What might be best for the relationship might not be what you want.

You got to look at the bigger picture, because while your partner might not go where you do not want them to go for a while, they still can meet people elsewhere if they want to. Just like they met you or their previous partners. After all they live and work in community with others.

This is why control is pointless. Keep working on your anxiety. . Keep working on yourself. Through right person will not put themselves in a position where they might lose you