Self betrayal in relationships

There are different ways in which you might betray yourself in relationships

You meet someone who has attributes you swore you do not like, but end up settling.

Examples include, getting into a friends with benefits situation and then trying to convert that into a committed relationship. All along you knew this was not the relationship for you, yet you liked this person too much, or you thought you might change them. You might have met a smoker who looks handsome or beautiful , so you decide to accept them when you had no plans to be with a smoker.

You might have sworn that you are not going to engage with anyone who is in another relationship. Yet, you meet someone and then build up this illusion that you are meant for each other because the attraction is out of this world.

You might stay with someone who is physically abusive, when you swore that you would never let anyone put their hand on you. You keep seeing their potential and blame yourself for their anger.

You might settle with someone who verbally abuses you when you claim to love and respect yourself.

You might accept to share nudes or accept persuasion to video sexual activity, because your partner wants that. Yet you swore that you would not share nudes or have recorded sex.

You might accept a relationship model such as non monogamy because you want so much to make it work with the person you met. Yet, this is something you swore you would not do in your life.

You might live with someone who has drug addictions when you swore never to get into a relationship with someone with addictions. Perhaps your partner started to drink or use substances later on in the relationship. Or you only found out later on in the relationship, so you feel as if you cannot leave.

You might fight for your partner with other men or women, on the phone or even physically , when you swore to be compassionate to yourself and to let go of control.

You might struggle to let go of someone who is not good for you, when you know that the relationship is not in the best interest of your well-being or that of your children.

When someone is cheating on you continuously, you might keep denying their behaviour and stay as if nothing is wrong. Or you just get mad at them, yet continue to sleep with them or do relationship as if nothing happened. Yet, you swore to yourself that you will not put up with someone who cheats on you.

You might refuse to acknowledge that your partner is being abusive towards your young children, or you agree to abandon your young children for the sake of a relationship, because your focus is to be in a relationship at all costs.

Being abusive and not trusting a partner is self-betrayal because it will work against you.

It is important to recognise when you are betraying yourself and not acting in your best interest.

Find out where you learnt to be ok with this kind of behaviour in childhood, and what happened to you that is keeping you in these situations.

Why do you not feel deserving of a good thing?

Why do you believe you have to suffer to be a worthy being?

What kind of parents raised you? How did you attach as a child? Who left home when you were a child, or who was not there physically or emotionally? What caregiver in your childhood might you be trying to fix?

What to do

Remember your values and what you believe in? How can you go back to that situation again and honour yourself? Work on self-love. Heal your inner child and connect with yourself.

Daily sit questions and parent yourself. Create boundaries for yourself. Learn to prioritise yourself, to respect yourself and trust yourself. Recognise that relationships have end by dates. Stay only when it is worth staying. Let go when things start tp get difficult. There is abundance in the universe. Do not let one person be the source of your unhappiness. Let go of control and act in your best interest.

Heal your inner child to connect with yourself!: Self-reparenting to strengthen the self-connection for quality life! https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08W3F34WG/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_F7W87JJFZ2J81VXNP38R