Say hello to yourself

Get into the habit of asking yourself questions before you take any action, instead of asking others questions, when it is too late.

Before you do take the next step, introduce yourself to you, to know yourself.

Understand what you do. Recognise when you are about to do it. Find out why you do it. Explore what you can do in your best interest.

Rather than ask questions later, normalise reflecting on your words or actions before you speak or act. Instead of regretting every action, take the time to understand the mindset behind your daily interventions.

If you know that you are going to have questions when things go wrong, think through what you are about to do. Avoid jumping into action, a relationship or saying something without understanding impact , then asking questions after things go wrong.

If you want a committed relationship, think through why you want to jump into spending every minute with someone you have just met. Relationships unfold gradually. There is no rush.

If you attach sex to relationship and love, avoid having sex with someone before you become exclusive.

If you struggle with jealousy or trust issues, consider the partner you are about to date and their profession or social circles. If they hang around a lot of people or have a following, you might need to rethink the decision to be with them.

If you are anxious, think through a decision to hook up with someone who does not want a relationship or who is not consistent.

If you have just recently been in a break up, think through the decision to date someone you might not want to commit to.

In fact, if you want to live a peaceful life, become conscious. Take the time to know yourself and understand what you do and why you do it.

The concept

What is the root cause of your behaviour? What are the unmet needs? A doctor's prescription is guided by a diagnosis. What is your diagnosis of your life situation?

What do you want and what you do not want? Reflect on your why before taking action. Consider helpful and unhelpful actions to take Take conscious action in your best interest.

The process

Before taking any action, be still and let your breathing support you.

Observe sensations, images, feelings and thoughts associated with this situation. (Physical bodily manifestations)

Ask yourself why you feel and think this way. (Root cause) Identify unmet needs you are trying to meet. Meet unmet needs - Soothe and parent your inner child. Reframe. Create solutions in your best interest. Journal.

Being aware does not mean things might not go wrong, or you might not make mistakes. It just means acting like a grown up can be helpful to avoid knee-jerk reactions. It also promotes responsibility to create newer solutions, because you have an understanding of your inner engine. When your engine stalls, you might know where to look. You can learn from mistakes and failures rather than keep asking questions externally instead of asking why you do what you do.