Safe communication in relationships

Does your partner feel safe with your communication? Do people around you feel safe with the way you communicate? Especially for men Do you communicate consistently and openly with your partner? Are you responsive? Sometimes, unavailable for communication do you inform them to minimise anxiety? Do you choose someone you feel you can maintain communication consistently with? Not someone you want to be admired with for outward appearance? Do you express how unsafe their clinginess makes you feel? If there is something, a behaviour or attitude you are not happy with in a relationship, do you communicate how unsafe you feel? Express yourself in a way that makes your partner feel safe? Like no shouting, no physical harm or passive aggressive behaviour? Nodding along to what you do not agree with? Uphold your standards and let go of a relationship that is not healthy for you? Especially for many women Do you ? Notice when someone is inconsistent and let go early on to avoid fixing? Choose your battles and detach instead of dictating terms early on? Observe behaviour and how you feel instead of repeatedly pointing out that their behaviour is not making you feel good? Recognise the freedom of choice your partner has. Trust and allow them to do what is best for the relationship? Their best can be not to step up which means you are not on the same page. Express yourself openly having parented yourself first? To avoid lashing out. Give them space to demonstrate that you trust and allow them to do their best? Only express yourself a small number of times and accept their choosing? Accept their choosing, even if it is not you? Do you schedule conflict resolution hour weekly to address issues in a safe manner. To allow for planning what and how to express. Allows time to process abandonment and rejection. Allows the avoidant person to feel safe and not attacked constantly. Allows the anxious person to process their anxiety and learn to detach and approach conflict without urgency. Agree a communication plan.

Agree consequences, but avoid threats. Or entitlement. Just enforce your boundaries. They know.

Convincing more is a control strategy. It is a clear indication you are not accepting their decision or freedom. Meaning, you are attaching to outcomes and have decided to attach this person to your goals. Continue to look for situation.

Use a code word to prevent escalation of conflict. Approaching communication in a healthy way saves your relationship. Remember the words of Epictetus "Who is good if he knows not who he is? and who knows what he is, if he forgets that things which have been made are perishable, and that it is not possible for one human being to be with another always?" We are reminded of the impermanence of things and to treasure each moment , including in our relationships.