Relationship Ready

There is such a thing as being relationship ready If you want to start a business or build a house, you need a plan. Same approach applies to the most important relationship in your life, romance. You need a relationship plan which addresses your situation, your objectives, your strategies, tactics , action and control! Do you know who you are on a deeper level? Include, what you do, why you do it, and what to watch out for. Why do you want a relationship? Shock yourself! What type of relationship are you looking for? There are many out there! What are you looking for in a relationship? There are specific qualities, but the question is around consistently adhering to your standards. Do you have the time to meet people? Consider how much you work and also being a parent for young children. Do you have social skills to relate with people without entitlement or control? This is where the story begins. How do you plan to meet people? Many people. Do you have a bed that accommodates 2 people? It matters. Do you love yourself enough to avoid outsourcing self-worth? Do you have tools to manage your triggers? There! Do you have your own life and friends to avoid putting pressure on a partner or relationship? Do you have boundaries and decision making skills to adhere to your standards, make decisions in your best interest and avoid shape-shifting to accept what you did not set out to get? This avoid self-betrayal and settling. You cannot know how to look for what you want, or that you have found what you are looking for, unless you know what it is, and what qualities it possesses. Plan your relationships and evaluate them like a teacher once you get into them. They are your classroom. Becoming the one Relationship with purpose Pivoting can help those of you who are struggling with relationships or in relationships so that you develop discernment and identify healthy, lasting relationships, beginning with dating or relating with a purpose! Understand your purpose for dating and wanting a relationship. Is it to have fun and get out of the house, meet new people or find a lifelong partnership. If you’re not dating with a purpose, then how do you know when you have found the right person to have a relationship with? If you do something without purpose, you will not have a target or destination and it will be hard to get there. Where? To find someone to create and sustain a healthy relationshipz dating with purpose helps as you interview and screen for most important role as your partner. You need to prepare, plan, and decide what you want. Creating a purposeful dating plan requires effort, patience, self-discipline and the wisdom of others who have done this successfully. How to date with purpose? Since dating/relationship with a purpose is one of the most important things you will do in life, it is helpful to learn pivoting. We will go through a list of ingredients that are important on this journey of becoming the one. 1. Readiness to be in a relationship You both must be ready to want to be in a relationship. And again, this means healing from past trauma, childhood or relationship issues. Otherwise, you may find that childhood wounds will be triggered, leading to negative emotions and unproductive behaviors. If you want a patner who is emotionally healthy and able to relate to you and meet your needs, then you must first be prepared to address that aspect of relating in yourself. Be the healthy emotionally connected person before you put that expectation on another person. This way, you set the standard by which you will be loved . To become the one is about healthy self relating which then transmits same approach to others as a result of self compassion. Know your triggers, know their origins, know what situations trigger you so that you either avoid them or know how to act or respond. To become self compassion is to be able to feel emotionally healthy in oneself and act with the same compassion in relationship and interactions with others. Equally, find out where you are at in life and whether there is space for the relationship of your choice. Do you have time for another human being to spend time with you. What about your care duties, do you have childcare or a way of addressing that? Do you work in such a way that allows you to have someone in your life for long term relationship or if you are just dating? If you do not take the time to know yourself and heal yourself as an act of self love to develop self compassion, then you will find attachment interfering with your purpose. You will find yourself with unrealistic expectations and you will find yourself putting a burden on your partner emotionally. Above all, relationship becomes a source of addictive conflict.

The Relationship Ready Toolkit from FA Relationship School: Towards a fit for purpose relationship

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