Reframe your inner critic

Break up and refraining the inner critic

Rather than asking for help to get your ex from a toxic relationship back, would it not be more life giving to ask for support to get into a new healthy relationship?

There is more life to be lived, more people to be met, more places to be visited.

Instead of asking what an ex might be doing or thinking, might it not be more helpful to ask the self what is best to do. To invest in self and own life. To experience life and other new people? To accept the impermanence of things.

Instead of believing that your ex's departure means you will be single for life, affirm that people are on loan and you will meet someone who is fit for purpose for relationship with you.

Rather than focusing on what went wrong , learn from what was going well and how you might apply that in your future relationships. Most importantly, focus on what you want and give it to yourself, to know what to look for and observe in a partner in future.

Instead of jumping from relationship to relationship without an awareness of what is keeping you stuck in unhealthy patterns, take the time to heal your inner child and get to know yourself on a deeper level. This helps you to avoid repeating patterns.

Rather than hoping that things will just change without you doing anything , intentionally heal your emotions. Address your situation like a professional would do at work if something is not working well.

Instead of paying attention to a relationship an ex is in, and getting heartbroken, would it not be best to focus on creating a vision board, learning self-parenting and visualise a relationship you want. Repeat affirmations and "learn forward."

Rather than worry that ex people are ruining your reputation, focus on liking yourself and pleasing yourself. People might talk, but how you feel about yourself matters more than what they say. Worry about your character, not reputation.

Your happiness will not come through the behaviour of others. It will only come through a change of mindset. Appreciation and being in the moment and detachment from outcomes are key.

There is more to life than romance. More people to life than just your ex. More to life than focusing on what has gone.

Remember, nobody is busy trying to change for anyone. They change if they believe it will make them feel happy. So, do not wait for anyone to change and see you. Focus on improving your life. Feel seen by you.

Focus on your journey, on being a good human with compassion. Be someone who looks good inside. Avoid trying to look good to people while abandoning yourself.

Endings are inevitable and painful, but it is what you do when they happen that determines the quality of your life. If you are fighting an ending, you will be unhappy because there is so much outside your control. On the other hand, if you accept that life happens you can grieve and move on.