Progressive deterioration in the disease of loving too much

Women who love too much and how their relationship situation progressively deteriorates

How she tries to fix

1. She needs to very badly discuss concerns and long conversations start.

2. Instead of focusing on his addictions or behaviours she focuses on why he is not happy in the relationship or not meeting her needs.

3. If he is unfaithful, she focuses on why she is not enough for him, rather than tackling why he is cheating while in a relationship.

4. He might blame her because he knows she is dependent on him. He tells her how much he loves her and that she is negative. She believes him because that is what she needs. She accepts that she is exaggerating and denies reality even more.

5. Because she wants to believe in him so much, she becomes hypervigilant, and monitors him constantly. How she feels depends on his behaviour.

6. While she puts him in charge of her emotions, she also interferes with his life and his relationship with other people.

7. She makes him look better than he is and to look happy to the world than they really are. She is logical about his short comings and hides the truth of their relationship from the world.

8. She has allowing him to own his problems , and feels like a failure in all the attempts to change him.

9. Due to frustration, she presents with eruptions of anger and violence, towards children and other people or even him. Children are emotionally neglected and sometimes abused.

10. She then turns on him and blames him because she is the only one trying to make the relationship work.

11. She develops guilt for her anger, holding him responsible for not noticing that she is trying to change him for her for the relationship.

12. She tries anything. She promises that she will not nag, whatever he does. None of them stick to their promises. She recognises that she is out of control, fighting, nagging, begging and losing self-respect.

13. They might move or things might improve briefly. Then, because nothing is resolved, the cycle begins again.

14. She has stopped her social activities to invest in the relationship. There is too much tension to spend time in public.

15. Where she once was OK with his neediness, she is resentful and exhausted from shouldering all the responsibility of the relationship.

16. She is now deteriorating emotionally and physically. She might indulge in food or alcohol prescribed drugs or substances.

17. She might be inappropriately diagnosed and offered tranquillisers which numb her but do nothing to address her root cause.

18. Physical disorders that manifest from severe stress begin to appear. Digestive problems, skin problems, allergies or ulcers.

19. Depression and severe anxiety might begin to show.

20. Thinking becomes impaired and she might gradually lose her sense of objective evaluation. She cannot make decisions in her best interest. All she does is react to her partner or to people.

21. She might get involved in affairs.

22. She might obsess on interests or devote in causes in which she tries to control or help the conditions of those around her.

23. Jealous at people who do not have her problems.

24. She might threaten suicide and everyone around her can also be very sick emotionally and sometimes physically

25. Thus is how children raised by such mothers also become sick.

When she is facing a crisis,perhaps that is the time she believes she needs to change.

She might look for help to change her man first. What helps is if the person she approaches, helps her to recognise that she is her source of recovery and change.

Otherwise this person will die of stress related heart failure or stroke, violence or have an accident due to preoccupation. Loving too much can kill you.